Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

John Doe, New Jersey — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:21:52 GMT

Greatest Article Ever!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jake, Iowa — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:30:49 GMT

I have to admit, if I was going to that school in Maine, I would be the one to have detention every day for intentional farts. Not because I think it's fun, but because getting in trouble for a bodily function is absurd. This is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Anyone have a fart machine?? Little gag gift that you could have endless fun planting (in this case) teacher's desks, lockers, teacher's lounge, under a chair in the cafeteria. Great stuff.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

John Doe, Seattle, Wash — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:31:54 GMT

Finally something worth reading on this site

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

jingraham95@yahoo.com — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:48:01 GMT

Read the facts at the bottom Very interesting

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Buffalo Gal, Buffalo, NY — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:49:04 GMT

Attention all ingestors of sugar substitutes: I learned that my blimped-up body was filling with gas because I--and legions of others--can't digest fake sugar. Same with fructose (check the "high fructose corn syrup" seeping into so many prepared foods). Google: sucralose "intestinal gas" for eye-opening, gas-reducing information.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Gina McAnus — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:52:59 GMT

a philisophical question if you will....what if you are in an elevator with a person A and that person A farts,but it doesn't smell,and at the same exact time person B farts and it stinks....does person A accept the smelly fart that person B spewed,as his own creation?????

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

farside31@sbcglobal.net — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:57:44 GMT

A must read!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

AdamZ — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:01:58 GMT

Farting I think is good for the body. just like spitting, it throws away poisons within.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Utahn, Lindon Utah — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:43:09 GMT

my question is...When are farts intentional or nonintentional? You either feel the need to pass gas, or you don't. I personally can't make myself fart. Can you?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

JJ California — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:45:23 GMT

This is no laughing matter for Gastric Bypass people. 14 times a day? I wish. 14 times in 30 minutes is more like it. And if you still have your gall bladder, the smell is horrendous.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Mike Stevens — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:56:29 GMT

Glad we got to the bottom of this. There was a hole in my knowledge before I read this. But now I am informed. A-nice article.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Anthony, El Dorado Hills, CA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:56:43 GMT

When my son was born, the subject of passing gas all of the sudden became serious business - as a parent, you try to encourage release of gas any way possible to make the little guy comfortable, and the sounds associated with it become something you hope to hear. It's no wonder we end up thinking it's so funny and clever to pass gas in public - we're encouraged to do it from the minute we're born!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Liz McStinky — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:58:27 GMT

Beans, Beans
The magical Fruit.
The more you eat
The more you toot.
The more you toot
The better you feel.
Lets eat beans for every meal!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Roger, Henderson, Kentucky — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:00:15 GMT

Farting in an elevator? You have not been in an elevator with Randy and Charlie. When Charlie squeezes his cheeks against the wall for that deep echo effect. Then fires the anal canon of yore...

One should receive credit for Haz/Mat training after enduring that.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jack Rolstad, Surprise, AZ — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:03:52 GMT

Fourteen!!! 14 farts a day, c'mon. Makes me feel like I'm some kind of misfit. Just thinking about it makes me want to toot.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Tommy Smith Ocala, FL — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:08:27 GMT

Would someone please just pull my finger!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Ed in LA CA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:09:14 GMT

I think there is much more to the bad gas than "sulphur." For example, I get the really bad gas when I eat liverwurst or a real oily salad dressing. Both are digested with a big squirt of bile, as I understand the process. Yet when I prepare pinto beans, my secret way, of course, there is no bad gas ... did I cook away the sulphur. And coffee ... don't get me started about the bad rap that coffee gets.
I think there needs to be more research about bad gas ... research that is not sponsored by Beano.

Ed in LA

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Joen Doe, WashingtonDC — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:12:46 GMT

When in doubt....blame the dog!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

RPT, Queen City, Ohio — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:14:16 GMT

Now that's some real news! The Supreme Court should take this up immediately and screw all that other boring stuff like gun rights etc.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Brian — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:15:32 GMT

the freedom of speech/fart thing was quit accurate. speech seems close to farting, think about it. men have deeper voices and deeper sounding farts, women have higher voices and squeakier farts. So I ask is it the voice is different and the breath the same or is the breath different and voice the same hehehehe

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Gary Edmisten, Matthews, NC — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:19:44 GMT

Have you ever been riding in the backseat of a moving automobile, when nature sets time to pass the gas? You grit your teeth and grin, and you try to keep it in, 'cause you know it will smell like s**t and stink like sin. You feel that rush a'coming, right below the belt, you know it was a blunder but, Oh!, how good it felt! You roll your window down, and you casually look around, and say "It wasn't ME, must have been someone else!" [chorus] What kind of world do we live in? Oh, how can it be such a bore? They're taking away a simple pleasure - when a fart can't be funny anymore..... (The Fart Song, Bowley & Wilson, Austin, TX, ca 1978)

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

The Fartiste — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:23:41 GMT

Seriously? I passed gas 14 times while reading this article!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

The Fartiste — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:23:47 GMT

Seriously? I passed gas 14 times while reading this article!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

T. Lee, New York, NY — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:27:50 GMT

Why does our society label farting as such a taboo! I mean, it is a natural bodily function. Why do we have to feel we need to hold it in and let it seep out slowly so it won't make a sound. I used to do this in high school and college, now I just let it rip. It's easier, faster, more relieving, and my husband does it, so why can't I? The only down side to this is that my body has decided to not let me know when it will fart and I happen to let them out in the office. oops!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

peggysue;CLAY,CITY.KY — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:28:57 GMT

Imay add to this topic I hert so bad because of gas Iwas born with gas I may say my pore mother I cryed for 3 months straight she said I have a little girl she has gas it is a very painful;;; subject ;;; so please don;t hold it in let it go it will destroy you as you get older believe me signed MRS.Gaseritis...

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

R Bickford, Richmond, VA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:37:29 GMT

I recall looking at an Xray of my chest looking for a broken rib when I noticed a section of the small or large intestine with, what looked like, sausages running along inside the walls. I asked my orthopedic and he said that was gas. First time I ever saw a fart! What a treat.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

R Bickford, Richmond, VA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:37:49 GMT

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

peggysueclaycityky — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:38:20 GMT

ok' farting is fun I love to fart do you hahahahahahahhhaahahhit really is true Grandma always counted her beans only 239 was alowd because 24arty[240] was to many get it 2farty?HAHAHAHAHAHAH ;

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

bym1971 — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:40:59 GMT

I'd also like to point out that after abdominal surgery all you want to do is pass gass, like the little girl in this story. When I had surgery last month, the best thing that happened to me was when I squeezed out a pathetic little fart the next day. Ahhh, sweet relief! I will never take farting for granted again!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

peggysueclaycityky — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:41:25 GMT

IF YOU PASS GAS HOLLER P.G ALERT OR EXCUSE ME i HALF P.G. [PASS GASS]

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Teresa Masters, Oceanside, Ca. — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:49:06 GMT

I am immediately sending this on to my two grandsons, now 23 and 20. Of all the stories I read to them as they grew us, an Indian Tale called Farting Boy was their hands down favorite. Yes i did the appropriate mouth sounds to validate the story. I well remember my late 80 year old mother, lamenting as she walked across the room audibly, "I have so much wind."

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Herschel Ducker, Melbourne,AR — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:49:21 GMT

Mr. Mark Leyner asks, "Can a fart be art?"

Yes. On September 4th 2005, I found myself returned to the classroom as the result of an incapacitating injury. One of my classes was Sociology (Dr. TT Richard-UALR. Being restricted to a wheelchair at the time made it difficult for me to find a way to participate in an assignment entitled "Breaking Social Norms."

Fortuitiously on the day the assignment was due the "eureka" occurred, a former girlfriend had given me a pocket sized faux-fart producing mechanism. One of the results of my investigation was that surprisingly, upon simply hearing a bubbular sounding poot some people actually seemed to smell a real fart. I was not able to determine whether someone took advantage of the situation.

However in my conclusions I determined that it was the classic "SBD" that was the source of that most enigmatic smile. Mona Lisa. I got an "A" for that paper. However from that point forward, everyone moved their desks away when I rolled into the room.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Constitutional Patriot — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:54:26 GMT

Farting is like an internal massage, and greatly helps the body relax, with relief both physical and mental. And, even though it is a truly natural act, we've even taught our 3-year old daughter to blame it on the dog.......for when her wrapped-too-tight relatives come to visit. What a hoot!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

erlanger lady — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:58:32 GMT

Just how do you record the speed of a fart?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

paul Hoben — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:06:14 GMT

ENJOY!!!!!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

mike/new jersey — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:08:00 GMT

I'M a gastroenterologist and this made my day(unfortunately it doesn't take much lately)

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Rafael Corona, Tijuana, Mexico — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:16:31 GMT

I wonder the effect of global farting (6.6 billion people) on the world climate (Global Warming).....it has to have some effect....that´s a of farts!!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

kali, bangor, maine — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:25:51 GMT

i remember reading that article in my local newspaper here in maine. yes, i was shocked. perhaps this ban should extend to teachers as well. im sure a few "fun farts" by students would be greatly outnumbered by adults, but thats just my opinion. next thing you know, is that you'll need a pass to pass gas. how should i explain that one to my gastroenterologist?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

D.K. San Antonio, Texas — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:47:03 GMT

14 a day? I pass that before breakfast!!!! Thankfully I am partially anosmic, unlike my poor wife.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Margaret - Manning — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:48:06 GMT

Darreyl,
I knew that if anyone would find this article fascinating, it would be you!!! Read, enjoy, but at all cost avoid FARTING!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Ricci, San Diego CA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:50:04 GMT

Just reading this article made me fart one time.
Now I know why my farts DO NOT stink.. LOL I eat nearly zero sulfer rich foods.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Paul Sousa — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:50:04 GMT

I think congress should turn these findings over to the house oversight commitee to further investigage the author's claims. A two day testimony on C-Span may be in order.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Freesia — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:50:49 GMT

Remember Hands Across America? About a similar Farts Across America to unite us during this tempestuous political time? I'm thinking of people throughout the country can gather together and let 'er rip at precisely the same moment. Think of it...a purposeful shared endeavor that literally leaves you feeling better about yourself! Synchronize wathces!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

alan moore, virginia beach, va. — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:51:37 GMT

Why is it that our own flatulence is so wonderfully exquisite to our senses, while the flatulence of others is so hideously malodorous?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

flip, essex, ct — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:55:39 GMT

my friend tells me she never farts - could this be true that someone could actually go without farting?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Carl Robertson, Dallas,TX — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:01:55 GMT

All this hot air is fine, but why didn't the subject of intentional ignition parade it's way accross the page. Talk about funny...

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

chuck gauthier — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:23:48 GMT

when i fart i lite it up and it fires a long flame beware the hairs on your balls..it stinks like hell

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Nemesis, Orlando, FL — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:34:33 GMT

This guy really prefers ejaculate to gas? WTF???

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Stinky Poo, Sacramento, CA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:38:49 GMT

Only fart in an elevator with at least two other people on it. Of course they must be SBD (silent but deadly) to work best. Always deny and never be the first to say "pew" you will automatically be blamed for it.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Buddog1, Rockville, MD — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:41:31 GMT

It's pathetic that this backwoods school has nothing better to do with their time than to put someone on detention just because a kid floats one, it's a natural act, like breathing. This is another example of Americans losing their freedom to express themselves. I believe it's time that everyone fights back for their rights before we all end up in chains.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jeff Knight, Miami, FL — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:42:35 GMT

Wait a minute. If beans are supposed to be so good for you, why do they create so much gas?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Margo from Fargo — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:48:09 GMT

I love to fart and spit!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Joebob, Morgantown, WV — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:51:18 GMT

I can't deal with farts. as we were taught in science all things come in 3 forms: solid liquid and gas.

solid=poopoo
liquid=diarrhea
gas=fart

so we are breathing poopoo in its gaseous form...

not so funny anymore is it?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Brak Silverbone, Seattle, WA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:56:12 GMT

I always thought puberty came BEFORE adolescence.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

bill,gj co — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:58:16 GMT

tis better to fart and bear the shame than not and bear the pain

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

MikeM, Flooded Missouri — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:00:01 GMT

Love the article!! But, seriously, how low does our society have to go before we realize that we make mountains out of mole-hills? Detention for farting!?!?! Personally, it feels good to pass gas after a meal; sometimes, my pants even fit better! ;-)

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

HJ Memphis — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:04:16 GMT

6,600,000,000 people
3,300,000,000 liters per day
231,000,000 liters of methane at 7%
297,000,000 Liters of CO2 at 9%
528,000,000 Liters of Greenhouse gas per day
190,080,000,000 Liters of Greenhouse gass per year

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

CrustySk8er, Texas — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:10:20 GMT

"Most people pass gas about 14 times a day" Eureka! We have stumbled upon the true source of global warming. As the world population increases, so does the amount of farting...ta da!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

William Gates, Seattle, WA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:11:21 GMT

That means on a flight from NY to LA with 200 people on board, the recirculated air will contain over 1000 farts. Have a nice flight.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

B Knight, Dallas, TX — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:24:40 GMT

Call it what you will, but flatulence should be kept to one's self, as all bodily emissions. To those who think farts are cute...they aren't. Purposeful passing of gas should be dealt with with the harshness that low-lifes deserve.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

jesse, asheville, nc — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:38:17 GMT

methinks global warming is a result of illegal immigration. given the vast amount of mexicans that come to our country every year and the ethnic food they bring with them, coupled with the fact that we are in fact the most prosperous and fattest nation on earth, our vast consumption of mexican food has put untold quantities of carbon dioxide and methane into the air. think about it.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

John Houston, Doe, Texas — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:43:13 GMT

As my boss said to me this morning and I believe it applies literally to Dr. Billy Goldberg
"Will you please stop farting around and get to work."

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

John Houston, Doe, Texas — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:43:20 GMT

As my boss said to me this morning and I believe it applies literally to Dr. Billy Goldberg
"Will you please stop farting around and get to work."

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

rich Mazure Pittsburgh,Pa — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:48:58 GMT

The true cause of Global Warming is all of those sacred cows in india farting! Eat beef India, and save the world!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jane Doe, Sarasota, FL — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:00:56 GMT

BEST. ARTICLE. EVER.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Ben Dover Oder, Okla. — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:01:55 GMT

Admit it. Everyone enjoys letting loose a good one!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

JPOWERS — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:18:13 GMT

Beans, beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot. The more you toot, the better you feel and then you're ready for another meal

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Alex W., Seattle, WA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:19:38 GMT

Regarding the greenhouse gas impact of farting, we really need to stop cows from farting too. Farting cows account for nearly 10% of methane emissions in the US. Cow fart caught on tape at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XYiC6n0CCk.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

lyricalcoder — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:20:54 GMT

Finally! Scientific proof that we NEED to fart!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jim DC — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:21:13 GMT

I would not be adverse to a federal law limiting the amount of farting per day per person with perhaps a bigger allowance for the elderly.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Mike Michelsen, Riverside, CA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:21:24 GMT

FWIW, an article in Men's Health this month says that although men and women fart about the same number of times each day, because of bodily differences, women's farts smell worse.

I should have known. Now my wife and daughters can't say, "But mine don't stink."

Thanks for a fun story...finally. And something with some redeeming value too!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

William, Auburn, NY — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:22:28 GMT

Pull my finger! Now, excuse me whilst I cropdust the cubicles in the northeast corner of the office.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Joe, Pt Charlotte, FL — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:27:59 GMT

I love to fart. I live to fart. FARTS ARE FUNNY AS HELL! Farts, well, farts are shit without the mess. Look at it that way....

G. Carlin

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

JA, Nashville — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:28:08 GMT

I like to drop a SBD in the elevator and quickly ask the other riders if they smell smoke. They get a good nose full

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jane Doe, Hollywood CA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:29:29 GMT

Don't forget the broccoli - major smelly farts after eating that!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Kat, BFE, West Virginia — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:34:23 GMT

This article freakin' owns.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

DK — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:34:52 GMT

LOL!! I had a wonderful laughing fit over this article and couldn't resist "passing it" along to my co-workers! :)

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Ms Steele, Redmond, Washington — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:37:33 GMT

I'd rather fart and waste it.. rather than burp and taste it.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Sarah, Milwaukee, WI — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:46:13 GMT

Gas is a natural byproduct of digestion. It is not right to hold it in, it can cause pain! These people who came up with this are ridiculous and obviously have too much time on their hands.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

pynch@frii.com — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:57:10 GMT

Eating MacDonald's produces the worst smelling farts.
John, CO

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Teri, Huetschenhausen, Germany — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:13:15 GMT

Ok, now that was hilarious!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

natural gas, Stockton Ca. — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:19:12 GMT

It's good to see that only one person on this forum takes themselves so seriously that they can't even fart.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

not stupid, seattle area — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:32:35 GMT

Mixing KIM CHEE plus EGGS then add a BEER and it's eye-watering "run for unenclosed areas"

I was having particular problems at one of the local native casinos a couple of nights ago and almost got run off for "indoor air pollution"

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Fred Memphis, TN — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:01:20 GMT

An old fart once told me: Beans, beans, good for the heart, the more you eat the more you fart, the more you fart the better you feel, so eat your beans at every meal.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

frankie b San Francisco Ca — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:03:05 GMT

i fart so much it is part of my daily life. it is out of control sometimes. Nothing i can do about it!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Ron Hudson, Durham, NC — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:07:16 GMT

Try living with HIV meds! My nickname is Chemical Ail-ee!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Rodney Beaverson,Red Lion,Penna — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:10:25 GMT

Why fart and waste it,when you can burp and taste it! LMAO

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

peg — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:42:31 GMT

As a person with IBS there are days I'm glad I'm alone during the day! But I would be taking the school to court if my son was in it. Actually, I'd be very tempted to see the principal to talk - after beans, eggs and many other gassy foods!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

He who smells his own foxhole first.... Los Angeles, CA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:43:30 GMT

Ha, as I'm reading this, I'm at work holding in my gas so as not to offend my office mates. With no circulating air, I wonder who is the biggest office polluter.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

K McChesney, Grand Junction, Colorado — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:46:43 GMT

FFFRRRRRT! I am feeling so liberated right now! FFFFRRRRT! And tho think that up until this point, I would have felt guilty! FFFRRRRRT! I am Free!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Hugh Jass, LA, CA — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:52:20 GMT

If you sit on a glass of milk and release one, will it turn the milk into cheese???

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

BKnight,Ontario, California — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 23:16:09 GMT

Talk about farts,my cats jump off the bed at night when I let loose. I'm lactose intolerant
so watch out!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Nodor Lynn — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 23:20:01 GMT

Try "blue-flaming" to eliminate the smell of farts. Simply use a match or lighter to ignite the gas. eliminates odor, but will shoot out a blue flame. Size of flame depends on pressure of expulsion. Don't try on an elevator!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Bawanna, Cocoa Beach, FL — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 23:30:41 GMT

I haven't laughed this hard in years...and to think I was holding it in at my interview this afternoon...LOL

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Red Neck — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 23:40:37 GMT

I agree, there are some days at work when the most enjoyable thing to happen is to fart loudly and see if anyone notices.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

JGO — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 23:51:23 GMT

I still have sooo much fun (even at age 39) passing gas... what a release! (And I happen to be a CEO.) Don't do it in the boardroom, but letting a good one go in the hall or in the car is a (10 ft/sec) blast! I am making sure to teach my son the fine art of empressing others with quality, sound-effect-enabled gas.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Bryan Bartlett, Lexington, KY — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:01:00 GMT

Nothing like a good grip-grinder to let 'em know who you are....

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Feeling Better Already — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:02:00 GMT

Farting has produced a lingo of its own:
Who cut the cheeze? Cheeze? Mmmm... SBD, pooter, fartypants, he's just a little fart, back draft, booty bomb, one cheek sneak, and many, many more. For more lingo, go to http://www.heptune.com/fartword.html

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Britney, CA — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:11:26 GMT

Oops, I did it again.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Charlie,Nowhere, Kansas — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:19:37 GMT

If you gotta fart...FART! Rather have an EXplosion than an IMplosion.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

I. Floatem, Pennsylvania — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:53:14 GMT

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, fart and you stand alone.

I spend ALOT of time alone! :)

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Willie, Cleveland, OH — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:03:09 GMT

My brother used to cup his hand around his butt crack and play his farts like a musical instrument!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Ri P'emoff — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:21:04 GMT

OMG, only 14 times a day and half a liter? There must really be something wrong with me...

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Phestious, Brooklyn, NY — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:23:18 GMT

OK the illegal immigration connection to global warming.. u really cant be that ignorant really. It has to be a joke. Im not mexican and i was born in the US however i am pretty certain that this country was founded and "found" by illegal immigrants. Ignorance is not bliss.
Gr8 article though. Detention for farting thats a but much. I mean if you fart in someones face thats one thing...

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jane Doe — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:41:50 GMT

What a great article. Now that Hubby and I are OLDER we fart often!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jerabeast L.A. Ca — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:01:13 GMT

Man all you guys are hilarious w/ your comments.
I'm sitting here dying laughing... Oh and another thing I agree some of these people in Camden, Maine need to get a life and leave those kids alone they only get to be a kid once ( Rip them hard kids) he he ...

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

DanDanthebackhoeman@yahoo.com — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:23:58 GMT

And how do I spell relief? "FARTS"

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Penny, Kansas — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:32:59 GMT

Surely you must have something more important to talk about. How embarassingly tasteless.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Vickie, Longview, TX — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:40:40 GMT

As my Mother would say; "better to burp and taste it than to Fart and waste it"

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Catch22 Madison WI — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:53:32 GMT

Good article, but I just survived the worst flight in my life. 3 hours on a plane in the window seat of a three seat per row plane with a person who had bad breath, BO and farting. You would think he would have gotten the hint when I aimed mine and his air vent away from me. But then the groans from the lady behind him should have also tipped him off.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Flarto — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 03:09:49 GMT

Sounds like you are just farting upwind to me. ;)

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Shadow (and you don't need to know where I'm from!) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 03:11:55 GMT

Farts are great: you feel better after letting one fly. Some places are better to fart in than others. Best place I've learned: the movie theaters. All that popcorn, soda, and snacks plus a good movie, equals a great place to cut one loose. And farts in a public place can't be deemed intentional or accidental just by someone's actions: some think farts are funny. I'm one of them.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Laffin N. Passin in Gassin Minnesota — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 03:35:37 GMT

OMG laughed so hard I cried - the comments were funnier than the story - now that I have laughed so hard and jiggled all over I feel a-a-a-a-NO DON'T SAY IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. whew and PHEW

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Cindy, RSVL, Cali — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:07:53 GMT

ok, when we were kids my bro & sis would announce
"I have an announcement to make!" & then stand up and fart, we all found this funny. so as an adult any time I'm at a meeting or expecially at church you always hear "does anyone have an announcement to make?" I cant help but die on the inside laughing.
When our family would drive to the city our father thought it was funny to roll up the windows and fart. he really got a kick outa this one,. but on the real it feels great to let a good one rip expecially around your boyfriend....if med can do it so can we, so ladies tonight when he's cuddling with you oh so tight rip a good one!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

J Richard Larsen, Beloit Wi — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:08:37 GMT

Had varnished desk seats in high school. When a fart hit that warm varnish, the odor was magnified many times...

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Tagg Romney — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:30:47 GMT

Ummm...don't all of these dubious arguments for the right to freely pass gas also apply to the other body functions he referenced? If you think farting in an elevator is a faux pas, try ejaculating in an elevator!

"You're violating my first amendment right to ejaculate whenever and wherever I please! This is how I chose to express myself! You can't prove it was voluntary! Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!"

P.S.
Puberty comes before adolescence

P.P.S.
BEST. ARTICLE. EVER.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

machmood1010@hotmail.com — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:35:00 GMT

I always wondered if "MythBusters" (Discovery Channel) would verify if farting was flammable! I thought it was full of Methane gas and part of the causes of Global warming. But 7%. . ?? Sheeeesh. Not worth the time to check it out.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

ike las vegas nv. — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:39:43 GMT

hey! we live, therefore we fart. Enjoy

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Sometimes Bellyache , Texas — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 05:22:16 GMT

it can sometimes be very musical to fart a tune , a kid in hi-school could actually fart the intro to smoke on the water

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Tracy, Las vegas, Nevada — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 05:54:41 GMT

Beans Beans the Magical Fruit the more you eat the more you toot, the more you toot the better you feel so let's have beans for every meal.
From Blazing Saddles "I'd Say You Had Enuff." as they all sat around the fire eating beans and farting.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Don, Elma, IA — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 06:25:14 GMT

A wise man once told me ...
"A fart is the most pleasure a man can have without having to pay or having to clean up afterward."
Usually.

Contradictingly, it's better to belch and taste it than to fart and waste it.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Matt Kasper, Honolulu, HI — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 07:48:19 GMT

A fart is a chemical substance
That comes from a place called 'Bum'
It penetrates the trousers
And lands with a musical hum

To fart, to fart, tis no disgrace
For it gives the body ease
It warms the blankets on cold winter nights
And suffocates all the fleas

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

B Knight is a fascist — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 08:03:59 GMT

B Knight, why don't you go f*ck yourself!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Fla Tulance, San Diego, CA — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 08:59:31 GMT

How does one measure the speed of a fart?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

roxtar, west liberty, wv — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:36:57 GMT

The fart is a miracle of nature. Do you think science and engineering could develop a structure that contains a quantity of liquids, solids and gases, and then emit only the gas....from the bottom? I say no, and I challenge anyone to contradict me.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Doctor Atomic, Matthews, NC, netsimde@hotmail.com — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:56:17 GMT

To fart or not to fart - that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the pangs and gurglings of unreleased gases,
Or to blow forth mightily a sea of troubles,
And by farting end them?

......unless by doing so messes your britches -
For 'tis unmanly to think you've farted,
but instead shat your pants......

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Yo Hubby, NYC, NY — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:03:39 GMT

re: Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

John Doe, Seattle, Wash — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:07:32 GMT

A friend of mine who is an engineer, thus well qualified, says that farts are air with poop molecules attached. Think about what is deposited on your mucous membrane the next time someone lets a really smelly one next time.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Brandon, frozen WI — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:19:12 GMT

It's nice to see an article that about this subject. I enjoy a good fart now and again. It's good, clean fun (most of the time). I agree with the other responses pertaiing to the school in Maine. How can you punish someone for a natural act that everyone does?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

gassydi, loganville, ga — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:20:28 GMT

oh dear lord, it would seem that im always full of gas but attributed it to aging (45) but now it seems that whenever i eat dairy products (sheesh head for the hills) i have extremely painful gas that lasts for an entire week (what gives with that) and now when my children hear me say (lets make egg salad sandwiches) THEY BREAK THE EGGS! while i absolutely LOVE them, i just cant stand the gaseous side effects - to which I reply, its better OUT than IN and which would you that it come from the "basement" or the "attic"??? They always reply in unison THE ATTIC aka the mouth!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Larry, Sioux Falls, SD — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:45:19 GMT

When you think of it....a fart is nothing more than a belch gone south.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Ron the Man Orlando, Florida — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:57:29 GMT

A very good article indeed. For my news watching friends out there, keep your peepers open for that lawsuit in Maine. It is absurd to ban intentional farting in school. Next, for all of my fellow posters that think that farting is gross or distigusting, think about this: if God in her infinite wisdom did not want us to fart, we would not be able to. Fart on, America!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

David, Washington, DC — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:08:36 GMT

Imagine if we could harness the power of farts ... alternate fuel in rampant supply.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jo King, Oriskany, NY — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:09:15 GMT

Something to ponder. "What if the whole world farted at once"?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Zoomie Papulski — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:09:38 GMT

You know why women are so uptight, they don't fart. Guys do and we are relaxed and more laid back.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Cliff Perry, Los Angeles, California — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:43:23 GMT

If farting is BAD, how come everybody LAUGHS ?
Is it really "laughing gas" ??? One of life's
little pleasures !!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Lynn Gawlik,Woodbridge, VA — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:48:14 GMT

This is too funny for early in the morning. The comments are just as funny, but Flatulence, or farting, is the bodily function for which toxins are being eliminated from the body. Example, belching, coughing, vomiting, sneezing and so on. Although, some people find this bodily function offensive. One a lighter note, behind every good fart is a healthly crap.LOL

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

jonzy — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:01:32 GMT

Just think, when you smell a fart, you are actually smelling gas that came from someone's anus.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jimmy deFart, CT — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:07:50 GMT

In middle school I received a detention for an "intentional" fart. I was bending over to get a pen out of my backpack and a tiny fart squeaked out. The girl sitting in front of me was the only one who heard it and she jumped up, knocking her desk over screaming that she couldn't sit near me because I farted and I was nasty.

The teacher then decided I was interrupting the class, not the girl who knocked over her desk and wouldn't sit down for 2 minutes because of a small fart. I'm pretty sure she really made such a big deal out of it just to embarrass me, and she definitely succeeded.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

dd, huntsville, al — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:17:19 GMT

i love to fart. my belly hurts from laughing. i needed to laugh today, thanks!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

suedanh@optonline.net — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:21:40 GMT

great fart facts at bottom for Dan

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Peter Wambach III, Harrisburg, PA — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:24:36 GMT

elevator...

2 people on it...

1 farts...

they both know who did it...

love the article. extremely informative and fun. when i was in 6th grade at St. Margaret Mary's i cleared the entire classroom for an entire period. the teacher, Ms. Piccola, went through an entire can of lysol and sent me home with a letter for my mother to sign. she did sign it, but had difficulty from laughing hysterically.

thanks for the fun read.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

B. Perkin, So. California — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:25:23 GMT

What a Farting good article!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

B. Perkin, So. California — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:30:02 GMT

14 times a day! That must be wrong, I have a daughter that does it at least twice that!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

John Doe, KCMO — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:36:35 GMT

When the brown eye winks, the whole room stinks.

Great article.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Tony Soprano — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:37:07 GMT

Out-freakin-standing article!!! I say we stage a fart-in up in Camden-Rockport...i'm callin' all my big f'n italian friends...makin' me proud!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Tracy, VA Beach, VA — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:44:11 GMT

I'm sitting here at work laughing through this article. Partly because my home state is Maine (and this school rule sounds totally horrible to me) and partly because I'm here at work trying my hardest to keep this very uncomfortable gas contained. I so wish it was "socially acceptable" to pass it because I'm going into hot flashes and cold sweats trying to contain it. It really can't be good to hold it in. God made our bodies to pass this stuff for some reason, right? Maybe so we don't explode??? I certainly feel like something's gonna give if I don't get! it! out!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

leprechaun Delray Beach FL — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:45:36 GMT

If you pass gas in the middle of the woods....it stinks, and makes noise, but your wife isn't there to witness it, are you still in trouble, and considered a pig?
Profound question, yes, but just curious.
any thojghts?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Bill, Burton, MI — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:50:28 GMT

Beans, beans, good for the heart, the more you eat beans, the more you fart!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Kimberly, Buda,Texas — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:55:28 GMT

I've never enjoyed an article more than this! I read til I cried!! Thanks for the grins and very informative info....

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

MC-Derby, KS — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:18:11 GMT

If you can smell it, its in your mouth...

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

shanika, Norfolk Virginia — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:20:29 GMT

Well I just like to say that i love to fart its like a weight have bee lifted off me when i do so all I can say is America keep fartin.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

spanky fron texas — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:24:00 GMT

I love to fart

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Karen P., La Junta, CO — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:28:27 GMT

I can't stop laughing! Thanks for a great start to my day!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Tom C Hackettstown, NJ — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:29:13 GMT

My only question is this. If farting is prohibited in that school in Maine what about belching?? Do they throw you in detention for purposeful belching too? They should to make sure they aren't discriminationg. Some of my belches are just as bad as farts especially after a large diest of beans, broccoli, or cabbage.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Naomi, N Richland Hills, TX — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:30:25 GMT

What I think is retarded about the whole thing is that sometimes you cant't help but to fart. I mean, I'll take detention over the horrible stabbing pain in my gut from trying to hold the thing in. I'd rather not be liked than lose my intestine.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

SS McGillicutty — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:31:49 GMT

But how come our own farts bother us a lot less than other people's?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

SRK, Omaha — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:45:22 GMT

My next step will be to apply for a Federal Research Grant to study the mysteries of farting.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

ButtBurp, OKC, OK — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:55:35 GMT

There should be contests for this. I mean... if people can be sponsored to force dozens of hotdogs down their throat, why can't you make money off of farts. Could you see ESPN broadcasting the event... not to mention the adds for beano or the revenue generated from new upstart businesses that teach you how to fart and make millions. Could you imagine the late night info-mercials about "How I became rich in a month by farting my way to the top!" This article should be featured on the front page of every major news website.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

RIP SNORTIN — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:22:22 GMT

RIP 'EM LOUD AND RIP'EM PROUD!!!! NOTHING WOULD GIVE ME GREATER PLEASURE THAN TO LOAD UP ON BEAN BURRITOS AND SOURKRAUT AND 6 BEAN CHILI FOR 3 WEEKS AND THEN GET INTO AN ELEVATOR FULL OF TREE HUGGERS....

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

HC, Cookeville, TN — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:01:31 GMT

Let us not forget the famous (or more likely infamous) Le Petomane who made his living expelling gas.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

t from montana — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:23:44 GMT

If it's found that farting contributes to global warming via methane gas, do you suppose Al Gore will make a documentary on it? Just asking....

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Perry Perkins, Portland, Oregon — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:04:10 GMT

Awesome article!

I too have a newborn daughter who struggles with these "windy" situations.

Still, regarding the question: "how does anyone prove “intentionality” when it comes to farting?"

C'mon guys, I can remember being a pre-teen (and teen) boy all too well. How many "intentional" eruptions didn't begin with the following?

"Hey man, pull my finger..."

or

"Dude...check it out..."

And if no verbal queues are available, there is always the classic “lean and grimace” as one is forcing a grade-a interruption in math class!

Also, an accidental eruption was cause for great embarrassment, whereas a premeditated act was followed by uncontainable laughter and often a high-five or two.

Shouldn't be that hard to track, lol.

Again, thanks for the chuckles!

-Perry

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Neil Willens, Germantown, MD — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:32:15 GMT

I'd have hoped that the authors would have learned by the time they can read and write that puberty comes AFTER adolescence.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jarenas, gainesville, fl. — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:49:28 GMT

Why is it that our own flatulence smells exqisitively sublime whereas others' farts are hideously repungnant? Can anyone anwser this eternal question??

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

ng, san jose, ca — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:05:31 GMT

Can someone clarify if farts spread airborne diseases like cold?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Master Keo Lightfoot — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:30:39 GMT

Heres a fun fact! Many have often wondered why others farts are so discusting, but our own smell doesn't bother us that much. The reason is very unique: Our body is constantly at work to fix whatever ails us. Our own gas is a way of our bodies protecting themselves. Tat's where all the giggling started. Breath deeply of your own gasses my friends, you will rarely get sick. Crawl under the covers and breath in the healing minute particles of healing gasses....BE WELL and giggle often!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Lady Delight Aussie Land — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:43:37 GMT

This was more enjoyable than letting out a good (quiet) ripe one in an elevator full of people.

Thanks for the laughs!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Donna A. Reuter, Bremerton, WA — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 03:02:38 GMT

I know of an actor who, before a performance, he lets one go as ritual before he goes on stage or starts filming.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Billybob Smith, Alabama, TX — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 19:20:16 GMT

Reading this article was the highlight of my life.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Stinky Jane — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 02:10:40 GMT

I would love to have the freedom to pass gas whenever in public (although I would reserve the stinky ones for the restrooms), and not be considered being weird as a female. It is only natural.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

ivv test6 — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:48:07 GMT

farting is such sweet sorrow

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Patriica, St. Louis, MO — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:31:55 GMT

As the grandparent of a child with Cystic Fibrosis, I'm appalled that a school would punish a child who passes gas! That's absurd. CF'ers have notoriously stinky gas and pass it must!
Isn't it like most things kids do - the less attention paid, the less problem created?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

amanda rose — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:57:05 GMT

Fart...Fart...Fart !!!! When you get older, its not that easy anymore, Get new boots....

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Britt,cantoment,florida — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:55:23 GMT

omg this is funny Gas can be funny and nasty at the same time

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Katiekat,cantonment,florida — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:56:36 GMT

lol gas can be funny and nasty at the same time i guess lol

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Carol T from Iron Mountain, MI — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:57:24 GMT

Farts are funny. God made them smell so deaf people could enjoy them too!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

John Cheek North Carolina — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 02:20:57 GMT

One of my great dissapointments came when I found out that the sound effects of the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles was provided by the armpit method rather than the natural way.
Also, Benjamin Franklin on flatulence (1781):
http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=470

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Nicoletti, Chatsworth, California — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:32:32 GMT

Thanks for this great article. I'm so sick of people acting like you're the most horrible person in the world because you let out involuntary gas. As if you can control it and you did it on purpose.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

tom Smit — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 00:17:44 GMT

fartings funnn

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

captcrash,winchester,virginia — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:53:46 GMT

Beans, beans
good for your heart
the more you eat them
the more you fart
the more you fart
the better you feel
so, we'll eat beans
at every meal....

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Mike Rabinowitz, Greensboro, NC — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:52:39 GMT

"Better to belch and bear the shame
than squelch the belch and feel the pain!
For a belch is something that comes from the
heart
If you squelch it, it soopn becomes a FART!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Dave from Peru, In — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:20:19 GMT

Are there people who can fart on demand ?

Are there any farting contest ?
We have farting contest at work.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Flatus Maximus XIV, in an elevator at the Forum — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:04:14 GMT

An average of 14 times per diem times how many billions of people (elephants, cattle, horses, dogs, cats, simians and all Noah's animals with a digestive tract notwithstanding) produce a few cubic miles of gasseous chemicals each day [credit to Charles' and Boyle's laws], including forms of extremely malodorous porphyrins. Now there, ladies and gentlemen, is one giant cause for global warming and the disintegration of the Antarctic ice shelf. Where, I ask you, is Big Al Gore when we have finally found some use for him and his mobile carbon exchange bicycle flying first class about the earth? Fortunately, a group operating out of South Ossetia has been secretly developing a portable, implantable, flexible sigmoid tube complete with activated carbon, fabric softener, and choice of esthetically pleasing scents for politically correct personal hygiene and venting. The device also incorporates an exchangeable stainless steel mini-storage vessel for trapping said vapors to be taken to ones annual auto testing and emissions center for proper disposal. Under no circumstances should anyone attempt to vent or ignite these hermetically sealed containers under penalty of law similar to the severe consequences for removing mattress tags. Costs are nominal and equate to the progressive income tax rates found in France and all Scandinavian countries. Blue cannisters for males and pink ones for the fairer orientation...purple for those who are not certain. Tax credits are possible [see irs.gov] as well as free units included with vouchers for low-income-qualified free cheese. Personal trainers and esthetologists are developing programs for sphincter strengthening and evaporative control under all social settings. Even Detroit has developed a belated, inflated interest for improved fuel efficiency in newer gas guzzlers. So, all's well that ends well...so to speak.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Mark, Hamden, CT — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 01:22:41 GMT

In high school, I used to scrape my shoes against the wooden floor. The sound was unmistakably that of a fart. (The teacher wasn't too thrilled about it but never told us to cease and desist).

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Taffy, Whitakers NC — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 09:34:35 GMT

What is a fart but the lonely cry of an imprisoned t**d?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

stinkyhiney from piney — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:10:56 GMT

Speaking of elevators, I held the door for my two darling sisters, granted we are all in our forties now, and they were leery about me waiting for them but when that door closed and the aroma wafted to them both simutaneously and they both grabbed their noses simutaneously my friends it was truly priceless, we still laugh at that, god that was great.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Dawn of Hamilton, MT — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 15:38:50 GMT

Better on the outside than on the inside. A baby cries when they have gas so when it comes out, its a good thing.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Mary, Fruitland Park, FL — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 18:19:27 GMT

I swear I laughed so hard at these comments..better than any comedy show I have ever watched..you people are hilarous!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

sississippi — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 18:37:21 GMT

Old Proverb:

He who farts in church sits in own pew.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

gassious maximous — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 04:33:55 GMT

actually Joebob, i find that hilarious...

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

P U — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 06:05:15 GMT

Who needs the article when the comments are so good?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Vicki, Los Angeles, CA` — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:58:53 GMT

Is it really that bad to hold it in?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Roger L Ferguson, Troutdale, Or. — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:57:10 GMT

"Pondering the Passing of Gas"
by Roger Ferguson

Once you've broken wind,
can it ever be repaired?
Do you hide your dirty secret,
or free it to be shared?
Does it matter if it's broken by
a hole, or a crack?
Can you fix it with a Plug?
Can you ever take it back?
I don't know if its important.
If it matters at all.
Is this philosophy
or is it destined for a wall?
Drop me a line.
Tell me what you think.
Or better yet,
break some wind
and hope it doesn't stink.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Alan, St. Paul, MN — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:49:23 GMT

Am I the only person who noticed that the letter writer apparently became an adolescent before going through puberty? I always thought puberty was the gateway to adolescence.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Evel Boweevil, Carrollton, Georgia — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:32:08 GMT

What causes the super smelly ones? I once went to trade school and there was this one guy who was so stinky he actually ran the students and teacher out of class about 10 times during the term. I heard that he actually got suspended in high school for this...what gives??

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Too far from a White Castle — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:58:28 GMT

4 Pages of comments and no one has mentioned the glorious smell of the grilled onion fart? Can someone pass me a White Castle?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

pattybarany@hotmail.com — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:55:33 GMT

yes, this article is funny, but it is another example of the 'family guy' mentality that has taken america by storm. does anyone have any manners? does anyone remember something called 'class'? i guess there isnt anything private about anyone anymore. some things were just meant to separate us from the animals (you know, like pigs!) Theresatime&place Medina, oh

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Farty Belcher — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 15:16:58 GMT

I caught wind of this article by accident and it was a gas!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jenica S, Cherry Hill, New Jersey — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:42:39 GMT

Beans, beans they're good for your heart... The more you eat the more you fart!
I think there should be fart contests....wet farts, hot farts, way stinky farts, chili farts, onion farts, silent but deadly farts.....
This is the most fun I've had about a news story!
Can my husband get a part-time farting job? Give him a cucumber and Pepsiand he's King Rootin' Tootin' LOL

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Paul, Houston — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:16:16 GMT

I would like to add 2 lines to Liz McStinky's poems about beans and tooting.

Clam chowder
Makes'em louder!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Postkatrina, New Orleans, LA — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 22:55:06 GMT

The comments are even funnier than the article. Y'all are great. I wonder if fish fart? Supposedly rats cannot. My friend gave his pet rats a sip of coke and said they all died because of not being able to fart...think that was true?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jess bpt ct — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:44:47 GMT

what about the book Walter the farting dog?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Joe — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 19:07:43 GMT

Remember, the hen that cackles laid the egg.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Ed, Tucson Az — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 19:15:03 GMT

Add to your library "WALTER, THE FARTING DOG" and its sequel, available at finer bookstores everywhere.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Newmarket, NH — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:48:19 GMT

I once had a supervisor that said she would never date someone who farted. I told her she would never date.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Samuraisuz, Fort Collins, CO — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:39:21 GMT

I guess I will be seen as one of those people who doesn't have a sense of humor but to all of the people who keep stating that passing gas is natural, I certainly understand that but also remember that pooping and peeing are natural bodily functions as well so would you advocate public restrooms with no doors or walls either? Just as much as I would not want to see anyone doing this naturally, I would prefer someone to be discreet rather than bring attention to the fact that they have just passed gas.

I attribute my feelings about this due to the fact that I was brought up to 1) have manners and 2) that my mother instilled in me "ladylike" behaviors, which is why to this day, when I burp, I say excuse me and when I yawn, I cover my mouth and yes, I do try to, within my power, be discreet about passing gas.

Even to this day, my son has never heard me say the "f" word (no, the other "f" word . . . my mother's training was so good, that I rarely even say "fart," much less type it).

All that being said, when my son was in first grade and just learning how to spell, he made a Valentine's Day card for a friend of mine with hearts all over it and had written "To my fart Valentine." He was attempting to write "favorite." It was quite the struggle for me to even give this to my friend but she loved it!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

M. Glover — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:07:27 GMT

I don't know if anyone posted this but here's how you get your baby to work out it's gas.
Lay them down on their back.
Take their legs and lift them toward their tummy and back down. Keep doing this and get the baby to laugh. It REALLY works! Especially on Colicky babies. Good luck!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

CT — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:15:53 GMT

If someone is extremely gassey, it is very possible that they have an overgrowth of bacteria in their intestines. See your doctor to have a breath test done. If it comes back positive, you will be given an antibotic for two weeks and you will see a difference.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Doing it, New Jersey — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:57:37 GMT

Wherever I am, I let the wind flow free, for the choking of one could be the death of me.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Doing it, New Jersey — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:59:57 GMT

Better to let it out and bare the shame, than keeping it in and bare the shame.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

aa, North Carolina — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:33:15 GMT

OMG! too funny! i work in a factory with a bunch of guys & they love to come in the office & fart real loud & run back out! i manage to get them back every now and then by walking by them & just letting one rip!
lighten up people - farts are a natural part of life & can be damned funny!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Brutally Honest Guy,Red Laker in Ashland Wi. — Sat, 10 May 2008 16:44:21 GMT

Since childhood I've been under the impression that a fart was an "Indecent Explosion"....learn something new everyday!When my body does it's job and doing what my dad taught me "Give credit where credit is due" I compliment my body after it does it's job, Way Ta go a#*hole!(With a satisfied smile!) :-D Have a good one (or fourteen!!!!)

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Madame Farts — Sun, 11 May 2008 12:02:08 GMT

I have giggled hours with my husband for one of us farting under the covers.....made trips memorable when one of the boys farts in the car.......and remember a dog who would drive us from the room with the odor of his farts.

Maybe I'm wierd.........but it's a giggle and as long as it isn't inappropriately done, I say we all loosen up and laugh a little.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Sweetie Pie, South Dakota — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:59:43 GMT

I am a woman and I personally do not fart more than a man simply because I got rid of my *butthole* when I got divorced 3 years ago...LOL

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Pete Stanich, Denver, Colorado — Fri, 16 May 2008 00:18:22 GMT

A friend of mine from Canada told me of a time his father was driving home along the highway (he lives a few miles out of town) and had to relieve nature. He stopped on the side of the highway and went to the ditch side of his truck and wee wee'd on the side of the road. Quite naturally a police officer drove up and gave him a ticket for littering the highway. In court he was handed a $45.00 fine by the judge. In a jest my friend's father pulled a $50.00 bill out of his wallet and handed it to the judge and quipped: "Here - Your Honor... keep the change!!! I farted too!!" Promptly the judge added another $75.00 for contempt of court!! How absurd!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Pete Stanich, Denver, Colorado — Fri, 16 May 2008 00:30:12 GMT

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

TheWeaver, NY — Fri, 16 May 2008 01:48:22 GMT

I laughed until I cried. And the people that got annoyed were just too funny - don't read the article if you are offended, plain and simple. And I think the people in charge at that school need to get a life. They should be thrilled that their biggest worry is flatulence in today's world.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

daddy's salamander, Jourdanton, TX — Fri, 16 May 2008 07:03:37 GMT

Let 'er Rip, Tater Chip!!!!!!!!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

S.H., Fresno, CA — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:52:15 GMT

Whoever said, "men have deeper voices and deeper sounding farts, women have higher voices and squeakier farts" is wrong. My husband has the wimpiest farts and mine are full of bravado. Does the pitch have to do with the shape of the anus or butt cheeks?

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

jas, Columbus, Ohio — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:54:20 GMT

Maybe the Camden-Rockport Middle School is dealing with the type of blatantly rude behavior my first husband engaged in - when he felt the urge to fart, he would hold it in until he could parade past other family members. Then he would pause, cock his leg and let it rip, loudly exclaiming "Ahhhhhhh". As the family scattered, he would continue on his way with a maddening grin on his face.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

H.B., Wabash, In. — Thu, 29 May 2008 21:23:07 GMT

A fart is the crookedest thing in the world. You aim it at your heels & it hits you in the nose.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Lori-Scappoose, OR — Fri, 30 May 2008 01:15:56 GMT

As a nurse, we are taught that the intestinal system can shut down after surgery. If you can't fart, you can't go home. It is one of the first questions a nurse will ask you after surgery. "Have you passed gas, yet?" As a post-surgical patient I can attest, from personal experience, as to what happens when you can't fart. The pain is unbearable. The doctor gave me a "Fleets" and told me to "blast off." When I did, I got to go home. Ahhhh. Sweet relief!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Beverley Hooper Lincoln England — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 20:38:57 GMT

Very interesting indeed! Living with a Flatulant husband and greyhound is hard at times, i always dread christmas when the combination of rich food and alcohol leaves me gasping for air at the nearest open window! I do wonder if the dog and my husband are in some small way not helping global warming, i however believe in the old adeage, 'Church or chapel, let it rattle' Also on the subject of dogs trumping have you noticed how they look round to their rear end to investigate what has just occured.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Tarf backwards — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:58:36 GMT

Thanks for the laughs people.....better to fart and bear the shame than not to fart and bear the pain.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Patsy, Lima, OH — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:32:47 GMT

As my elderly neighbor used to say, "There's more room out than there is in."

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

High School Teacher, Lancaster, CA — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:04:56 GMT

I have had terrible farts since having the gastric by pass. They are loud and smelly beyond belief. It is hard to control them in the classroom especially. My dogs seem to enjoy them but my husband runs. I keep gas x in my purse but only think about taking them when it is all over and I'm embarassed to death.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Katie Lawrence Warren, Michigan — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:27:33 GMT

OMG! I was at work reading this and all my customers were wondering why I was tearing up...I was trying not to laugh myself silly!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Rose Young-Stewart Whitney Point, New York — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:58:26 GMT

One time when my boyfriend and I were on the elevator in a tall building, as we were on the way down an elderly lady in a wheelchair being pushed by someone else got on. I noticed that one of her legs had a cast on it and it was elevated to a straight angle. I guess by now we were on the 12th floor all heading down with stops in between. I suddenly got a very strong whiff of a loose type of fart, if you get my drift. I whispered in my boyfriends ear, "Do you think that old lady crapped in her diaper"?
He laughed so hard his face was red and he couldn't answer. It was horrifying on the way down and the stink never left us and neither did the old woman in the wheelchair.
Finally .. the ground floor. Relief at last, I thought. I snuggled up to him in the cold winter wind as we headed outside to our car. I said to him can you beieve that little, tiny, lady laid that rotten, smelly fart? He was still red faced and laughing, he said to me .. it wasn't that old lady who fated, it was me. And he kept on laughing he could hardly breathe.. it was so bad. I never forgave him for that trick.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

lymya TX — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:16:04 GMT

this was great to read because i was farting while i was on the computerso i was like why dont i research something about farts and i love to fart so now i can tell everyone what i know about farts and like it seems like sometimes im the only person in the world that farts besides my family and so i would still fart like crazy in public because every where i go people want to know who i am and why i keep farting

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Jennifer, Anchorage, Alaska — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:44:37 GMT

This was cracking me up, the article and the comments. It reminded me of the men in my family seeing who could fart the loudest. I always hold them in when I am around friends, aquaintances, and strangers-and push them out when I am alone or with family. HOME IS WHERE THE FART IS.

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

wizzer duluth mn — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:55:29 GMT

He who smelt it dealt it!

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

Laura ,Sacramento, Ca — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:24:20 GMT

Ha! 14 times a day....These nice gentlemen have yet to meet my roommate... More like 40 times a day....

Passing time by passing gas, plus fun fart facts!

BLART, Winchester, Ma — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 10:50:35 GMT

They're fun and they lift my spirits. My favorite place to release them is the supermarket. Multitasking at its best!