What's stuck where?!

Brian Pierce, Albion, MI — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:35:22 GMT

I can just see the disclaimer that comes from a lawsuit: Caution: Sticking penis into this bottle may result gangrene....... Stupid

What's stuck where?!

Chip, Michigan — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:06:07 GMT

This is great! Had to urinate, did he really think the doc's were going to believe that ridiculous explanation. Maybe after the fact he had too! LOL!

What's stuck where?!

Alex, CA — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:07:08 GMT

Newliweds are known to put the wedding ring on it. With the same consequences.

What's stuck where?!

S. Burnham Cleveland Oh. — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:17:43 GMT

I can only hope I'm on that jury, I garantee the plaintiff wouldn't get a dime.... we can't keep rewarding stupidity!!!!

What's stuck where?!

Dave Jasper, Reno, NV — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:22:15 GMT

An ice bag applied to his scrotum probably would have solved the problem.

What's stuck where?!

ED Curmugeon, North Alabama — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:27:16 GMT

My years of experience in the ED prove that at least half of our time is spent taking care of 'stupid people doing stupid things' (not my original quote). I have no hope that this will change anytime soon.

What's stuck where?!

Kim, Greenville, OH — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:52:54 GMT

Egads! Many years ago, a group of graduate students did a study in Ohio. They combed the roadsides, counting the number of plastic bottles used for urinals. The results of the study was amazing! The sight of a pee-filled bottle littering the highways is disgusting. If men ( and I guess some women may be guilty, too) are too busy to stop for 10 minutes to potty, what has this world come to? I can understand a young child not being able to hold it but what is the excuse for adults? My guess- pure laziness. Sometimes people get their justice served- unfortunately in this case, Dr. Billy got caught in the crossfire! I bettin' there is more to this story than the patient let on!!!

What's stuck where?!

deebee, Clearwater, FL — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:06:48 GMT

Very amusing. We had a case a number of years ago of a guy who had tried to pleasure himself using the return duct in a swimming pool and got caught. The fire department was called and finally he was rescued using some heavy duty grease material.

What's stuck where?!

Brandy, LaGrange, GA — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:42:56 GMT

Now that is funny! My husband does the same thing when we are on an outting and there are to many people around to visit the nearby tree. He whips out the nearest empty bottle. I can't stop laughing at the idea of this happening to my husband!!! But I couldn't see suing the bottle manufacturer for something so... well... "dumb".
Some people will find any reason to sue anyone for a little money. - I'm still laughing at the thought of my hubby with his member stuck in a bottle!!! :)lol

What's stuck where?!

Sally, Kansas City, Missouri — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:49:34 GMT

Truckers use 2 liter bottles as Johnny on the Jobs all the time. I remember reading not too long ago that some states were trying to introduce legislation to outlaw the practice because the long-haul drivers just relieve themselves then pitch the bottles out the window. It cuts down on their stops and increases their productivity. Nice, huh?

What's stuck where?!

Bev Clay, Louisa, KY — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:04:44 GMT

My favorite quote overheard in an adjacent ER cubicle: Sir, you know you really shouldn't use a chainsaw when you're intoxicated.

What's stuck where?!

Terrisa, Anchorage, Alaska — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:28:49 GMT

My first thought is "what is wrong with him?" Why not just find a wall or shrub! My second is "how small is he?" I keep picturing a soda bottle. It never said what type of bottle, but my gut says there is something fishy going on!

What's stuck where?!

J-M Detroit MI — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:41:33 GMT

Dr Billy didn't check out the magic tricks book as kid. How to get a hard boiled egg out of a milk bottle (its slightly larger an any pulling creates a vacuum to hold it in).

slide a straw in next to it (like surgical tubing) and blow. Even a slight increase in pressure pushes an obstacle out.

What's stuck where?!

randy laine carlsbad ca — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:12:58 GMT

If your Penis fits inside a Coke bottle you have much more serious problems than Gangrene

What's stuck where?!

Patrick, Richmond, VA — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:21:38 GMT

Geezzz, unbeleivable!! Why couldn't he have just used a bush, a tree, or somebody's car tires to releive himself on. I think his story about having to urinate is bogus, but stupid is as stupid does is suppose.

What's stuck where?!

Kelli, Long Iland, NY — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:24:27 GMT

When I worked in a hospital years ago, an elderly and senile man had managed to get his penis caught in the metal end of a garden hose - I'm not even sure he was aware of why he did it. For the most part, we felt sorry for him...now there were some others....

What's stuck where?!

Eric, Morehead City, North Carolina — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:28:56 GMT

Ok, not one of you people thought for a second. How small was this guys pentis that he could fit it in a plastic bottle? I couldn't fit it even with lubricating assistance.! LOL! Don't want no Short Short Man!

What's stuck where?!

JC, Pensacola, FL — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:34:44 GMT

Saw I guy a few years back that broke marbles in half, then put the halves in slits in the skin of the penis to make "speed bumps". He came in with priapism and had to be surgically decompressed.

What's stuck where?!

carl, seattle WA — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:35:19 GMT

i question the likelihood that a man needed to insert his entire penis into a bottle in order to urinate. methinks that was a cover story for a "less necessary" reason for the insertion.

What's stuck where?!

Benjamin — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:36:05 GMT

Any port in a storm

What's stuck where?!

JC, Pensacola, FL — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:37:00 GMT

Also saw an inmate one who swallowed a padlock that became lodged in his esophagus behind the heart. He got an Xray because of frequent vomiting. We all guessed he need something to get "locked up".

What's stuck where?!

O2bRich, Wausau, WI — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:45:37 GMT

Years ago I had a conversation with a doctor in Germany about the things she had retrieved from the rectum of drunks. Truely amazing what alcohol can do to you.

What's stuck where?!

Susan, Cincinnati, OH — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:04:08 GMT

I spent some time working in an ER as a Ward Clerk - the story I heard at that time had to do with the same member and a ketchup bottle. I've also heard stories about lacerations and vacuum cleaners. I don't remember urination being an excuse in either case - at least they were honest!

What's stuck where?!

mz.c.inurface, usa — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:23:30 GMT

OMG, ouch to the comment made by DEEBEE, Clearwater, FL. I also bet there was some 'other' activity happening before he got stuck.

What's stuck where?!

H- Sunnyvale, CA — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:36:52 GMT

Long haul truckers are typically the responsible parties in the littering of the highways with urine filled bottles. Commonly called "trucker bombs" or "trucker grenades." Truckers are slaves to schedules, and breaks (even when mandated by law) are few and far between.

What's stuck where?!

Rappites, Rockfod, IL — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:09:33 GMT

I would be embarassed for this to be out in public viewing. Now everyone knows his penis is small enough to fit into the opening of a plastic bottle.

What's stuck where?!

M'bi Cile, NYC — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:05:34 GMT

Gravity works. Vacuums work. Have we now become so incredibly inept that an operator's manual is now given to each newborn, each with the admonition, "Caution: you may be hazardous or lethal to yourself."

What's stuck where?!

maxxine kurtzbein — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:05:42 GMT

This one is cute. My friend's little girl picked those little nubbies from her blanket and stuffed them up her nose. When they got well packed, she sneezed and the created a mock snowfall.

What's stuck where?!

d melanogaster, west chester, PA — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:57:24 GMT

A friend of mine worked as a medical transcriptionist, and told me about a case she was typing up. The man in question was brought into the ER with a carrot stuck in his rectum. The attending physician reported the treatment and concluded his report with "Patient says he fell while gardening."

What's stuck where?!

Kami, Wyoming — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:45:49 GMT

Since M.D.s commented I would like to ask, are they ever tempted just to leave the "dim bulbs" where they found them? Even if something else wasn't as pressing I imagine doctors are at least tempted to let the fools remain in the unfortunate situations they brought upon themselves. Unethical? Maybe. Deserved? More often than not.

What's stuck where?!

Herx, NYC,NY — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:28:39 GMT

I worked in Radiology in NYC hospitals and let me tell you..... billiard ball in the vagina, nmerous dildoes in the rectum, a small mayonnaise jar, a Prell shampoo bottle, a snapple bottle, a GERBIL and toilet paper dispenser wrapped in a condom all come to mind.

What's stuck where?!

ginger Maryville, TN. — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:35:50 GMT

I don't know of, nor do I want to know any MAN or boy that "pees" in a bottle unless he is wheelchair bound or bed ridden. If you're in a place where it's improper, than there's more than likely a bathroom. If you're outdoor, then HELLO just go! Peeing in a bottle, my third eye!!!

What's stuck where?!

Mary Ann, Jamestown NY — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:20:54 GMT

OUCH, not much respect for the wedding ring!!!
"Newliweds are known to put the wedding ring on it. With the same consequences.
Alex, CA (Thursday, July 10, 2008 1:07 PM)"

What's stuck where?!

Jan Ontario, Canada — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:32:26 GMT

My 1st experience with stupidity in the ER involved a guy who used an industrial sized nut to pleasure himself. It was removed under anaesthesia.
It wasn't his 1st time using the nut, it was almost the last!

What's stuck where?!

Peggie, Texas — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:46:58 GMT

How dumb can people be? My goodness! What a story to wake up to this AM.

What's stuck where?!

Girly girl, Chicago, IL — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:01:28 GMT

I just find it funny (and maybe even more embarrassing than the offense) that his penis is THAT small. I have never seen a penis small enough to fit into the opening of a water bottle. It sounds like it's more common than just the one case. Surprising!

What's stuck where?!

cynthiana ky — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:16:50 GMT

um? yeah, wedding rings? how could you even get it on there much less stuck!!! braclets maybe but,wedding rings?

What's stuck where?!

Chase Hartzell, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:51:58 GMT

quote: "I don't know of, nor do I want to know any MAN or boy that "pees" in a bottle"
~Then clearly you have never been on a naval submarine...

What's stuck where?!

Belram — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 21:30:36 GMT

one of our adult patients was entertaining himself with a tall glass. it got stuck. went to er. Multiple attempts to remove failed. taken to OR.Tried to remove from posterior-unsuccessful, had to open him up in the front. took several hours of surgical attempts before glass was removed. Suffice it to say that he spent a lot of time recovering.

What's stuck where?!

Tammie W. Vermilion, Ohio — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 01:33:46 GMT

yes, some people can be more stupider then a box of rocks! These are hilerious! I lived near the Oberlin College and used to be an EMT also. Seen it or heard it all also ! Alcohol does play a big part in the rectum cases too! Way to sick and funny to hear the explanations they try to give...
As far as the peeing in the bottles goes - I do know that alot of over the road truck drivers will do that. The live in their trucks and have a really rough schedule to try to meet! Them I can understand doing it - but wish they'd all hold the bottles till they get to the next available truck/rest stop to dispose of them. The side of the highway is not the place.

What's stuck where?!

someone — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 01:35:59 GMT

At the hospital worked at in my undergrad years we had a guy put a whole bunch of parsley, stems and all, up his urethra (the whole pee come out) because someone told him it would cure his STD.

What's stuck where?!

Chubbles, SD — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 02:58:38 GMT

Those "trucker bombs" that are thrown out into the ditches are pretty disgusting to the farmers who mow and hay those ditches. After the urine-filled bottles sit in the sun they become pressurized. When the farmer's mower or a tractor tire hits the bottle, the bottle explodes, dousing the farmer and/or his equipment with hot, stale urine. Pretty gross!! Also could be a health hazard.

What's stuck where?!

anita, minnesota — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:04:58 GMT

i know of a man who would please himself with a glass thermometer, but not up the rectum, and who had to have it removed from his penis more than once

What's stuck where?!

Bo — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 08:33:20 GMT

I just feel bad his penis was able to fit inside a bottle and when it actually was big or well bigger he was too drunk to remember, lol!!

What's stuck where?!

Alfred von Nuemann — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 10:06:05 GMT

OoooWeeee! I suddenly laughed out loud at the 'fell on a carrot while gardening' guy! I just couldnt help myself! Thanks I needed that laugh !LOLOLOL!

What's stuck where?!

Jewels, Yuma AZ — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 10:16:10 GMT

I had always thought that the Gerbil stories were not true. Maybe I'm mistaken. I want to know how does the gerbil stay alive with no air to breathe? Or do they die, which seems like it would take away from this so called pleasure. And what would happen if the person was too embarrassed to go to the ER right away? Can you imagine the smell of a dead rodent three days after it died in there? Eewgh!!!!!!!!

What's stuck where?!

Jane Doe New York, Ny — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 10:23:19 GMT

when I lived on the Atlantic coast, I can't tell you how many 2liter bottles of pee washed up on shore from fisherman who heard nature's call when they were out to sea. Ok guys, I understand there's no facilities in the middle of the ocean, but how about you bring it back with you and dispose of it properly once you hit dry land?

What's stuck where?!

ducksinthewind, Mesa — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 11:04:58 GMT

snork! remember "Scrubs"? young doc gives a hasty birthday present from the lost and found box... finds out later, there IS no lost and found box.

What's stuck where?!

Maxwell Peterson, Flagstaff AZ — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 11:14:35 GMT

Regarding the idea of "If you're outdoor, then HELLO just go!": Nuh-uh, not in this day and age. That's just one of many ways people wind up on the sex offender registry. Until people stop freaking out about what their neighbors may have done ten years ago, you can live with the bottles.

What's stuck where?!

lou ND — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:21:07 GMT

I had a co-worker who put a ribbon on her hubbys jewels for their anniversary and she tied so well and tight that she could not get it off.

What's stuck where?!

mth abq nm — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:37:39 GMT

Million to one shot Doc, million to one.

What's stuck where?!

Sherr, TN — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:55:42 GMT

When I worked for a fire dept. in TX we had a call for rescue come in. The lady was taking a bath and stuck her big toe into the faucet. She got it stuck and the harder she tried to get it out the more it swelled. She had a phone in the bathroom and the emts had to come and oil her toe to get it loose. They got a laugh (and a look) out of that one...

What's stuck where?!

Lori, Salem, Oregon — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:29:41 GMT

It amazes me that human beings find themselves superior to other species, but continue to do ridiculous things like this!!!

What's stuck where?!

K. Evans MD — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:42:48 GMT

im an er physician, i have assisted the removal of several items such as bars of soap carved into interesting shapes, Barbi heads, vibrating things, various vegetables, undergarments, and even tootsie pops. It is my conclusion people are weird and/or really bored with their lives.

What's stuck where?!

Karen, SC — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:54:24 GMT

My favorite ER story- my patient couldn't urinate and when I went to place a catheter he had a pencil hanging out his urethra- had to go to surgery to have it removed as there was also a drill bit and a tampon farther along.......or was it the guy who asked for his pot handle back after it was removed from his rectum?

What's stuck where?!

mdebt, Toronto ontario — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:31:21 GMT

Talk about thinning the herd.

What's stuck where?!

J Omega T, Troy, NY — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:34:48 GMT

Re: size. the article doesn't say what kind of bottle it was. perhaps it was a 3-litre, or a quart
or half gallon fruit juice bottle. Any of these have openings substantially larger than your typical 20oz soda bottle.

What's stuck where?!

matt pa. — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:55:04 GMT

i'm just wondering how small does your thing have to be to fit inside of a plastic bottle or a wedding ring because i don't consider myself to be very big or anything but it wouldn't come even close to fitting in either i think i would be more embarrased that my thing was that small

What's stuck where?!

Sarah Texas mariah102171@yahoo.com — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:59:18 GMT

I'm incredibly thankful the only insertion problems we ever faced was a pencil eraser pushed up the tiny nose of our first toddler child. At the time I nearly panicked; I just didn't know how luck I am. She graduated college; who's proud of these other pathetic excuses for humans?

What's stuck where?!

Kevin Hazel Park, Michigan — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 15:40:39 GMT

"Newliweds are known to put the wedding ring on it. With the same consequences."
Damn that is small!!!

What's stuck where?!

Anne Smith, St. Petersburg,Fl — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 15:51:38 GMT

Worked in OR for over 20 years, strange "accidents" always have stranger explanitions(read storys)One time a guy claimed he was "just changing a light bulb" when he fell off the ladder and the bulb ended up in his rectum!

What's stuck where?!

David L — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 15:53:45 GMT

? How the hell can a man put his penis inside a bottle? Must have had a large hole. Even a 2 litre is too small, unless ur penis is about the diameter of a index finger. As for the wedding ring idea someone mention, again, ?. Talk about urban myths.

What's stuck where?!

MP, Athens, GA — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:06:31 GMT

As a nurse you get to see things you wish you hadn't. There's the one about the mom who brought her son to the doctor saying,"He smells awful. I've washed him over and over, but he just stinks." A week old strip of raw bacon was pulled out of his nose. Lots of vegetables pulled out of vaginas and rectums....wrong orifice people.

What's stuck where?!

dawn melbourne floreda — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:07:42 GMT

i bet if you look up that patients name in the dictanary it would read this is what stupid looks like what a dummy

What's stuck where?!

MARY, IOWA — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:26:43 GMT

I WORK IN THE SURGICAL DEPT AND WE HAD A MAN WHO "FELL" ON AN APPLE AND IT WAS LEDGED IN HIS RECTUM. THIS HAD TO BE REMOVED UNDER ANESTHESIA.

What's stuck where?!

Paul, Indianapolis In — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 17:10:27 GMT

Some people don't realize how miserable a man is when he has to pee real bad. Sometimes it is even painful. When you are out on the interstate and the nearest restroom is 50 miles away, and you simply can't stand it any longer, what can you decently do? You certainly can't pull over and wave it out in public. So you pee in a bottle and discard it in the next garbage can when you get to one.

What's stuck where?!

Don L. Johnson, Kingsville, Texas — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 17:42:52 GMT

My favorite is the guy who came to the ER whit a battery powered dildo that had slipped past his spinctor. He was seeking immediate relief but the attending physician didn't hesitate in stating his treatment plan.
" I ain't messing with that thing until the battery runs down!"

What's stuck where?!

Twister — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 17:47:10 GMT

A wedding ring around your penis? They either have really fat fingers or....

What's stuck where?!

Robaire M. Viloria, Kailua-Kona, Hawai'i — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 18:02:02 GMT

Aloha! There are products on the market for travels on the road for such emergencies so plastic bottles don't have to be used by either man or woman. A lot of times when you ask to use the bathroom at gas stations or etc; you are not permitted. Some places charge a money to use their restrooms. One gas station in particular and a certain fast food hot dog stand told me that they had no restroom on location. I asked then where to you go when necessary. NO answer!

What's stuck where?!

Rebecca Turner, Durango, Colorado — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 19:41:31 GMT

My friend works in an ER and one story that stands out was a man had put a pool ball into his rectum. Well, who knows why or how, but all the Nurses and Docs were placing bets on which ball it was. It turned out to be the 8 ball. euw!

What's stuck where?!

Kevin B, Riverhead, NY — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 23:09:09 GMT

I guess when this guy read the word "SQUIRT" on the bottle he took it to the extreme!

What's stuck where?!

Harry B_water, Goldsboro, NC — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 23:57:45 GMT

The only force in the universe more powerful than the atomic force is testosterone and estrogen induced sex drive. Given the force behind the urge it is any wonder the ER's are not inundated daily with more bobby pins in the urethrea (both sexes are known for this one), penis thru the box end wrench, and various other inanimate objects utilized for what many think unimaginable acts. The worst I can remember was the drunken couple that tried "Superglue". (Ouch!)

What's stuck where?!

Raina, San Francisco, CA — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 07:04:32 GMT

I worked in the ER for the local county hospital for years. We had the this guy come in twice for severe anal lacerations received after coaxing his german shepard into havig sex with him, another woman passed out and was found by her family after stuffing her rectum with golf balls.

And then there is the strange and bizarre realm of Chuck Palanuick's story, Guts. Check it out...

What's stuck where?!

"Stretch", Fire Island — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 14:44:30 GMT

You should always be sure that your "toys" have a wide base on them so they won't get "lost"...

What's stuck where?!

Katie Fisher Granby, CT — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 22:27:52 GMT

Omg. That was probably 1 of the stupidest things that I have ever read about. i mean seriouslly, why would you stick your penis in a bottle if you could just hold it a little longer and stop at a restroom?

What's stuck where?!

Deezus, Ohio — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:57:06 GMT

with the wedding ring, that means you have either sausages for fingers, or a very unhappy bride.

What's stuck where?!

Savannah,Indiana — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 02:45:36 GMT

What is with people sticking things that don't belong in there orfices? Or sticking parts of their bodies into things that it may not come back out of?..I'll bet men are responsible for these things more often than women!

What's stuck where?!

Carrie, Schweinfurt Germany — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:25:06 GMT

I worked in an endoscopy lab for years and you wouldn't believe the things people do to themselves! We used to have a prisoner that would come in on a regular basis that liked to put gummy bears on razor blades then swallow them. By the time he got to the hospital the gummy bears were usually dissolved. He liked to see if we could get them out without sending him to surgery. Also had a guy come in with three small potatoes stuck in his rectum. The doctor told me he was going to prescribe a sour cream and chives enema.

What's stuck where?!

dr. x, in philadelphia — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 02:27:49 GMT

I used to work in the ER and I'll tell you one thing. The eight percent sounds mighty low to me. My recollection was that about 1/3 of all ER visits were for the purpose of sleeping off some intoxication; and about 1/3 were confused little olds ladies(or men). All other known diseases accounted for the remaining 1/3 of visits.

What's stuck where?!

Jess, Austin, TX — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 10:33:49 GMT

That is hilarious! What I can't wrap my head around though is what kind of bottle was he able to stick his penis in? The first thing that came to mind was a coke bottle, but I would hope it was something more like a Gatorade bottle... :-b

What's stuck where?!

Eat It! — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 20:45:42 GMT

Wow, get a load of all these self righteous, rambling twits on here.

What's stuck where?!

Everything is Bigger, in, Texas — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 20:50:04 GMT

I'm not bragging; but the bottles opening wouldn't be big enough!

What's stuck where?!

G.Williams — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:39:44 GMT

I only became aware a few years ago of why I kept seeing so many large plastic milk bottles on the sides of our highways. It infuriated me when I learned that it is common for truckers to throw them out their windows when they get full. Not only is this a disgrace to being an adult, but totally disrespectful of our public roads and those who must clean them up. Anyone who would do that has absolutely no respect for other people. It is a shame that our road crews must pick up bottle of urine because these people are too lazy to properly dispose of them. No schedule can be an excuse for throwing them out the window. I actually did not belive this until I started counting one day while going from my town to a city twenty-five miles away. In that twenty-five miles, I counted over one hundred of those milk containers. If you are one of those people who are guilty of this, not only do you need to grow up, but start thinking about your disrespect for the road crews who must clean up after you. The bottom line is that there is no excuse of this behavior. This actually goes for anyone throwing anything out of their cars on our roadways. Anyone is liters our roads deserves to pay a five thousand dollar fine. The only way littering will be stopped is if we impose a fine that actually hits these uncaring people where it really hurts, their pocketbooks.

What's stuck where?!

MS ER Doc — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:25:13 GMT

My most memorable patient was the guy who drove 100 miles to my ER & presented with the chief complaint of "I think I have something stuck in my butt" : mind you, he states that he has had it there for a whole day now. After a rectal exam (not my favorite part of the job) & an xray I deduced that he did, indeed, have 'something' in him. Of course his story was that he fell on a shovel handle while in the latrine at a hunting camp. When the surgeon extracted the offender it was a nicely made, well-sanded 8 inch long shovel handle...

What's stuck where?!

Russel Rose, Palm Bay, Fl — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:26:57 GMT

Not just truckers! Long haul bikers use a pilot relief tube. Don't tailgate!

What's stuck where?!

Danielle DC — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:27:58 GMT

I guess my questions is this... why didn't the doctors just poor cold water on his penis? Don't they shrink in cold temperatures?

What's stuck where?!

NancyH Seattle Wa — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:56:54 GMT

How funny, but gee I thought guys just peed in the bottle not stick the whole thing in it, poor guy must be a wee bit tiny! I doubt he'd win a suit, it's lack of common sense that got him in trouble and if you're drunk and being stupid why should he even be heard. Taw payers probably paid his hospital bill as it is! Nowadays people will sue because it is always someone elses fault not theirs! I know of a lady who sued the Dept of Transportation because she got into an accident. Her reasoning was if the road hadn't been there, she wouldn't have been either and not have the accident, it was thrown out of court of course! Nothing like spending taz payers money on frivolous lawsuits to defend building a road.

What's stuck where?!

skin — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 00:03:07 GMT

I dont think it would be possible to pee with his penis inside the bottle due to the air displacement problem. It would probably rupture his urethra.

What's stuck where?!

jdbatiste@hotmail.com — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:05:03 GMT

What about a num in Quebec who had to be brought to a hospital because the eggplant in her vagina started to rot.

Jay in Vancouver, B.C. Canada

What's stuck where?!

Troy, San Antonio, Texas — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:26:32 GMT

"Newliweds are known to put the wedding ring on it. With the same consequences."

...those are very big fingers or...

What's stuck where?!

Jason, CA — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 02:07:14 GMT

a ring ding diddle-liddle ah-dee-oh!

What's stuck where?!

Angie, Cumberland, Maryland — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 02:19:05 GMT

Wow! I think that is about all I can say. I did have a friend, who at the age of 3 shoved a pea up her nose and it got stuck. After a couple of days is started to rot and she had to have it removed. My daughter used to sneeze out raisens when she was about the same age. I am so glad that has been my only experience with " foreign bodies"...lol

What's stuck where?!

Tom Chandler, Tulsa Oklahoma — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 02:43:53 GMT

Dave from Reno:I've got a better idea for fixing the problem. Instead of an ice bag give him a picture of my ex-wife in the nude. That picture ruined me for life.

What's stuck where?!

shaen@ywamtyler.org — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 03:54:24 GMT

Come on! Have some more imagination. Not all plastic bottles are 2 liter bottles. Milk jugs, gatorade bottles, etc. There are lots of plastic bottles you could get into, but maybe not back out of.

What's stuck where?!

JR, San Antonio, Texas — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:38:12 GMT

A man at my apartment said he wife liked zuchini!
Suffering succotash-- give me a break! What next, gourds? Watermelons?

What's stuck where?!

none yobussines — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:01:45 GMT

"Newliweds are known to put the wedding ring on it. With the same consequences.
Alex, CA (Thursday, July 10, 2008 1:07 PM)"

newlyweds put a ring on it!?! either thats one big finger or one little man

What's stuck where?!

Morel, Rochester, NH — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:30:43 GMT

For those who wonder about the size of the member required to fit into a soda bottle, please realize that the 1-liter Arizona Iced Tea and several items made by Schweppes have a top as wide as a Gatorade bottle.

What's stuck where?!

Colette, Las Vegas, NV — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:03:25 GMT

How about the time when the guy came into ER and said he got the turkey baster up his butt when he fell while while making a sandwich! Now THAT'S a true kitchen hazard. Damn turkey basters!

What's stuck where?!

K, AL — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 01:58:26 GMT

"Newliweds are known to put the wedding ring on it. With the same consequences."

Uh - it's either a LARGE ring or a scary-tiny penis...

What's stuck where?!

Dan, Austin, TX — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:16:29 GMT

I think I have a solution to prevent such mishaps: Use a funnel!!!

What's stuck where?!

Ted, Oklahoma City — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:00:12 GMT

As a victim of penile entrapment, I am shocked at all of these harsh and judgmental missives. It's not his fault. The manufacturer must take into account a variety of scenarios before producing a harmful product. Yes, the man made a bad decision, but the bottler must assume responsibility; had they, this would have never happened. This man is ultimately a victim and has a good case should he pursue it.

What's stuck where?!

Michelle Provo Ut — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:28:21 GMT

In regards to the bottle size one liter Mountain Dew bottles are quite large. I would hate to see or imagine it for a 20 oz bottle, And truckers, please use the Trash cans!!!!

What's stuck where?!

Skipper — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:54:46 GMT

Here is the story. Did your father ever tell you that looking at po*n will turn you to stone? He was probably reading and urniating at the same time and probably began turning to stone.

What's stuck where?!

Skipper — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:55:55 GMT

Next time you drink a bottle of water from recycled plastic, you may want to think about it first.

What's stuck where?!

HangOn, Central Florida — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:10:04 GMT

Why should the bottle manufacturer be responsible? If that dope got himself "caught" using the bottle for something other than it's intended use, that was HIS judgement call and it's HIS responsibility. Give me a break.

What's stuck where?!

Frank, Texas — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:00:04 GMT

My friend, has been a trucker for years. He despises New Jersey and Canada so much that he saves his bottles and tosses them when he crosses into either one.

What's stuck where?!

AnnMarie Lynch East Haven Connecticut — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:28:36 GMT

My friend Marge had a tiki torch canaster stuck on her finger..
She was trying to get the wick out, when her finger swelled and the canaster started getting tighter and tighter.{actullay cutting her}
Well They had called me, I was coming home from work and I thought it was a joke..
No joke...I pulled up and saw it for myself.
I called the fire dept. they came right away.
Of coarse they thought it was funny. She was bleeding by this point, as we tried to put holes in the bottom of the can..Everyone was in agreement to call an ambulance.After taking several pictures, Off to the hospital we all went.Several hours later, the Resident came in and tried the ring cutter to get it off.. No matter how we all tried the swelling was very bad..Finally they got it off her finger.
Several more hours later, they finally stitched her finger. That night she tried to light the torches..
I hope any one that reads this please do not stick your finger in the canister....

What's stuck where?!

mike g st chas mo. — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:23:02 GMT

Ive seen some pretty good looking bottles but I never went that far. BTW pepsi and mountain dew 1 liter bottles have a large mouth. those are the preferred urinals but the story was a little fishy since urinating while aroused is very difficult though not impossible.

What's stuck where?!

Mike, Seattle, WA — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 03:46:51 GMT

Soldiers on convoys and on duty in guard towers do this pretty often, but they prefer gatorade bottles.:)

What's stuck where?!

Mad Max — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:41:14 GMT

Too bad this isn't a rare or one time occurance. Wouldn't it be nice if stupidity like this was painful? Somewhere along the lines of a blinding migraine headache, or a lightning strike to the head. It would be very entertaining to see someone spaz-out because they THOUGHT about sticking their member in a bottle. This would be the innate ability of the human subconcious to protect the body and possibly good name/reputation. The human version of a shock collar for dogs, brought about by evolution through necessity.

What's stuck where?!

REO @ NE — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:09:41 GMT

I guess this is a functional defination of micro-biology.

What's stuck where?!

Cath, Seattle — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:36:49 GMT

boy, people are dumb! re: the comments about him fitting into a water bottle. I wonder if it was one of the wide mouth water bottles? The kind that are large enough to fit a full size ice cube into. You know, vitamin water, etc.

What's stuck where?!

Tricia Ann, Seoul, S.Korea — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:49:53 GMT

Thanks for the next to the last comment. Yes it is against the law to have it out of your pants in nature or anywhere else in public. ALso the people who clean the garbage cans at the rest stops have made major complants about having to throw away the truckers bombs, but I know that truckers don't sleep at reststops as much as along the highway or exits and may not have a restroom available when nature calls. With everything else available in those trucks, why not a urnial?

What's stuck where?!

willi1921boy@yahoo.com — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 06:35:05 GMT

Hello! I am studying to be a medical field and uh one of our instructors spoke of someone with a coke bottle that got suctioned up in the vagina. Solution, they used a high speed drill in the end to break the vacumn as do not want to hit and break as that causes more damage, same thing could have been done with the plastic bottle and using a saw, hello what if it had slipped, would have been wee willie for sure then. Dee, Dallas, Texas

What's stuck where?!

dr vinnie boom bach — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:29:59 GMT

well they should be sued!

What's stuck where?!

ER Tech, Florida — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:23:04 GMT

In our ER, we had a guy with a dildo stuck up his rectum. When the surgeon was called, he asked "What's a dildo? ". We also had a couple caught in a frisky moment. He stuck a Faberge`in his wife's vagina. Of course, he was unable to remove it, and they came to the ER. Our doctor had to open a newborn delivery kit for the right instrument to remove this egg. The nurse tending to the patient took the little hat included in this kit, wrapped the removed egg in it, and proudly presented it to the concerned husband that had been waiting outside the door and said to him "Congratulations, you are the proud father of a Faberge` egg". Those of us that work in ER, have a strange sense of humor at times, and have a very difficult time keeping a professional face at these sights.

What's stuck where?!

Louise, Naples, Florida — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:29:37 GMT

Well, the incident I know of involved a V8Splash bottle. He got out himself, but still ... Doesn't make it any less foolish.

What's stuck where?!

Betty Spears, Dutton, Va. — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 12:46:06 GMT

On a related subject, many years ago I worked in a lab that did a large volume of urine pregnancy tests each week. Since first morning urine is the best for the testing, many of the gals collected their specimens at home and brought them in--often in some interesting containers. Eventually we added a "urine container of the week" to our (in-house) weekly publication.

What's stuck where?!

Dr. John Albany, NY — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:51:12 GMT

To ER personnel, I had a situation when a man fell asleep with a large electrical conduit nut on his member. I used a cast saw to cut it and it worked perfectly. The oscllating motion didn't even leave a mark on the foreskin, just remember to keep water dripping on the blade to keep it cool when cutting.

What's stuck where?!

Jane — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:17:57 GMT

Reminds me of a guy we had in our ER who got his penis stuck in a glass bottle while trying to use it to pleasure himself...Oh brilliant people

What's stuck where?!

albany ny — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:58:48 GMT

i go camping a lot, and in the middle of the night you dont want to go out of the tent. So i bring a use laundry bottle. the opening i much larger an you can cap it and take it out in the morning. it works quite well an your not stumbling around in the dark, as far as using the bottle, i guess he doesnt have good aim, most men have done this before. but, their is no need to put your stuff in the bottle. he could have accomplished the same result holding it just above the hopening.

What's stuck where?!

ProfessionalWriter — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:32:05 GMT

Uh, Tammie Vermilion from Ohio you're obviously one of the people who is, according to you, "more stupider." Your English skills are deplorable; you have so many mistakes in your entry, I gave up counting them all!! Maybe you should take some writing classes before you decide to criticize other people in the written form. You're just embarrassing yourself.

Tammie wrote:
"yes, some people can be more stupider then a box of rocks! These are hilerious! I lived near the Oberlin College and used to be an EMT also. Seen it or heard it all also ! Alcohol does play a big part in the rectum cases too! Way to sick and funny to hear the explanations they try to give..."

What's stuck where?!

Valeria Fresno CA — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:21:45 GMT

Well guys, I think you've said it all. What more could I add than, WTF???

What's stuck where?!

Sue, Long Island, NY — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:51:23 GMT

Once an older male psych patient came in to ER,with lower abd pain. We x-rayed him to find a whole pencil up his urethra, along with a very long nail(5 inches, steel) that he inserted behind his balls aiming into his penis. Then we x-rayed his stomach + intestines to find paper clips, more pencils, coins, and anything else he could swallow. I guess that's why he was a lifer in a Psych Hosp.?

What's stuck where?!

Kelsey, OH — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 05:22:45 GMT

Ah jeeze. Sticking a thermometer INSIDE the penis sounds painful. And as far as the gerbil thing goes, I've often wondered, what if it BIT you and caused some sort of nasty infection or disease from inside your anus? My GOODness.... People are sick.

What's stuck where?!

Jalesca Kristochovich, Ogden, Utah — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:36:58 GMT

I work at an Urgent Care clinic, and you would not believe the weird injuries that we see. Adults are worse than children, one guy came in after biting part of his tongue off, then, said "I think part of it is still stuck in my tooth" and started fishing around in the back of his mouth with the rest of his tongue...NASTY!

What's stuck where?!

Sue Kizer, Lodi, CA — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 02:38:43 GMT

Couldn't they have just cut the bottom or made a hole in the bottom of the plastic bottle to release the *suction* :D