Why watching 'The Office' makes us cringe

NBC Universal

Looks like a fun "Office" party.

There's a reason certain episodes of "The Office" or "Curb Your Enthusiasm" -- or those painful audition episodes of "American Idol" -- make you so uncomfortable. A team of European scientists has uncovered a neural explanation for vicarious embarrassment, that cringe-inducing phenomenon of feeling embarrassed for someone.

Whether Michael Scott, the boss of the fictional paper company in "The Office" (or -- even worse -- his British counterpart David Brent), realizes he's humiliating himself or not, observing his awkward moments activates the region of our brains that processes empathy. That's what's making us squirm, according to the study, published this week in the journal PLoS ONE.

In one experiment, the researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging to examine the brain's "pain matrix" -- the anterior cingulate cortex and the anterior insula -- while the 619 participants read a series of vignettes describing embarrassing moments. (Yes, that "pain matrix" is the area that processes actual, physical pain, but previous research has shown that this is where social pain, including empathy, is felt, too.) Protagonists in the vignettes slipped in mud, walked around with their fly open, burped loudly in a fancy restaurant and wore T-shirts bragging about their sexual prowess. In other words, some realized they were being ridiculous, while others did not.

"Vicarious embarrassment was experienced regardless of whether the observed protagonist acted accidentally or intentionally and was aware or unaware that he/she was in an embarrassing situation," write the study authors, led by Sören Krach and Frieder M. Paulus from Philipps-University Marburg, Germany.

Video: Will Ferrell ready for work at "The Office"

The participants were also asked to rate how embarrassed they would feel if they were in the person's position -- and also whether they were feeling chagrined for that person -- and then took another survey intended to rate the participants' empathy. Not surprisingly, empathetic folks were more likely to experience secondhand embarrassment, proving what we already suspected: If you can't stand to watch deluded reality show contestants humiliate themselves on national TV, it's because you are just such an incredibly nice person.

By the way: We are delighted to report that there is a German word for this very specific feeling: "Fremdscham." It's the emotional mirror of the more-familiar German word: "Schadenfreude," the pleasure we sometimes feel from the misfortune of others.

Can you hardly sit through an episode of the British or American versions of "The Office"? Did you have to leave the room all those years ago when William Hung made his "American Idol" debut? Tell us your favorite example of experiencing secondhand embarrassment. (Or should we say,"fremdscham.")

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I could not watch "thirtysomething" or "The Wonder Years" because it was too uncomfortable. It felt like watching a train wreck. "Modern Family" affected me in the same way except for the Ed O'Neill parts. The other two couples make me twitch. Oddly, real life events have a harder time triggering that response, probably because one doesn't see all sides of the real life events in a time condensed format like TV.

  • 2 votes
Reply#1 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:47 AM EDT

I've always felt this way watching the Office and especially Curb Your Enthusiasm.

  • 3 votes
Reply#2 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:50 AM EDT

In addition to The Office and auditioning shows, I have a hard time watching political debates. Even when the debate involves only candidates I do not support, I find it painful to watch them be put on the spot. Political interviews/press conferences aren't quite as hard to watch, and I have no problem viewing political speeches.

  • 2 votes
#2.1 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:57 AM EDT
Reply

Watching the Office makes me cringe because IT'S A TERRIBLE SHOW! Come on America! That show sucks!

  • 12 votes
#3 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:55 AM EDT

THANK YOU! It is literally un-watchable!

  • 5 votes
#3.1 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:33 AM EDT

You obviously have a very narrow sense of humor...
(Or perhaps none at all?)
There's a reason it has generated huge ratings for 7 seasons....
That show is hysterical...

  • 11 votes
#3.2 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:46 AM EDT

V - it is highly possible that both Jim and PM just dont have your sense of humor. Doesnt mean theirs is "narrow" I dont like the show either (mostly for the same reason as the article states, but otherwise i really dont find steve carrell funny...ever.) I do think that the actor who plays Jim is excellent. I enjoyed the UK office much more, but still was very uncomfortable watching it.

People who feel uncomfortable watching shows like this might want to take a look at taking the Kiersey/Myers-Briggs Temperment Indicator if they havent already. I'm an INFX (J/P Hybrid) with a 20/0 for both N and F (intuitive/feeling) which totally makes sense as to why i just cant watch these things.

To each his own though.

  • 3 votes
#3.3 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:29 PM EDT

PM NYC also has no idea what the word "literally" means.

  • 4 votes
#3.4 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:30 PM EDT

V... The show is only "hysterical" if you take a great deal of pleasure in watching gross dysfuntionalism. Honestly, you have to love to watch idiots in action. I find the show pathetic, and I am considered to have a pretty good sense of humor.

  • 1 vote
#3.5 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:41 PM EDT

Archeim

V - it is highly possible that both Jim and PM just dont have your sense of humor. Doesnt mean theirs is "narrow"

Are you saying that I alone, am responsible for generating the huge ratings that the show has garnered for 7 years?

I dont like the show either (mostly for the same reason as the article states, but otherwise i really dont find steve carrell funny...ever.) I do think that the actor who plays Jim is excellent. I enjoyed the UK office much more, but still was very uncomfortable watching it.

The UK office was brilliant... but that was just 2 seasons worth....
the characters on the US version have been allowed to grow and develop so much more...

To each his own though.

Of course...
I will leave you with this quote from Michael Scott....

"My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter ... where. Or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or ... or where you've been ... ever. For any reason, whatsoever." - Michael Scott

  • 5 votes
#3.6 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:43 PM EDT

somebefuddledperson

V... The show is only "hysterical" if you take a great deal of pleasure in watching gross dysfuntionalism. Honestly, you have to love to watch idiots in action.

Hasn't it been that way since the beginning of (cinematic/TV) comedy...?
Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello, etc....
It's always been funny to watch idiots in action...

  • 5 votes
#3.7 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:47 PM EDT

that's what she said

  • 8 votes
#3.8 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:34 PM EDT

@ leanderm

Context...
You should've quoted which line you were referring to?
It's not funny unless you do....
But I'm guessing it was....
"It's always been funny to watch idiots in action..."

  • 1 vote
#3.9 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:45 PM EDT

Age has a lot to do with this. I am in my 40's and think this show is incredibly stupid. I've laughed here and there but for the most part it is dumb. I don't like the concept or the execution.

Take someone 16-24 and they will laugh until they wet themselves. They have been raised in a much looser world than us forty somethings and in a lot of cases a very selfish environment. They might actually believe offices like this exist.

I love movies like Airplane, Scary Movie, anything with Lesley Nielson even The 40 Year Old Virgin and The Three Stooges rocked. This is all stupid goofy humor. The office is more like a special ed class. I don't think they write a script for it. They just say stupid nonsensical garbage and then edit it all together for a half hour show.

So V, the ratings might be high but who is watching? Lots of shows have or had very high ratings like say Hannah Montana but the viewers were all teenagers.

  • 1 vote
#3.10 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:29 PM EDT

Browns Backer

So V, the ratings might be high but who is watching? Lots of shows have or had very high ratings like say Hannah Montana but the viewers were all teenagers.

Welll this is a bit old (From 2007) but it's what I could find without too much trouble....

In terms of total viewership, The Office finished 68th (8.3 million viewers) out of 142 programs for the 2006-07 season. But that doesn't tell the whole story.

Here's how The Office ranked compared to some other comedies:

Bales, OfficeTally's resident ratings watcher, says:

  1. For the all-critical adults 18-49 demo … this makes The Office the fourth highest ranked NBC scripted show in the demo, behind Heroes, ER, and Law and Order: SVU.
  2. The Office is NBC's #1 comedy in terms of the 18-49 demo!
  3. Aside from Two And A Half Men, no other non-animated 30-minute comedy beats The Office in this demographic.

So the whole - it's just for dumb teenagers - theory goes out the window....

  • 1 vote
#3.11 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 3:37 PM EDT

I am 54 and love the office, yes sometimes its stupid but don't most comedies have their dull stupid moments.

  • 2 votes
#3.12 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:41 PM EDT

Jim - you are spot on, The Office and Curb are both terrible shows, lousy acting, bad scripts, etc... It seems that stupidity is the new funny, or was anyway. Being dumb to be silly once in a while can be a hoot, but honestly, Steve Carrell is an awful actor, as is the bald guy in Curb. They are both very bad tv.

And I couldn't care less how many people think these shows are funny - these are the same people who make Britney and other "celebrities" famous. Ratings are BS now a days anyways as the vast majority of America no longer watches anything in mass. There is good comedy on tv (2 1/2 Men was a good show as an example of funny) and lots of good drama, these are neither.

    #3.13 - Sat Apr 16, 2011 2:21 AM EDT

    I only watched a few episodes and thought it was stupid and boring up until a year ago when i saw the 2nd episode and i was hooked. You have to grow a connection with the characters.

    Now quit Arguing about what's Funny lol

    • 2 votes
    #3.14 - Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:19 AM EDT

    @Brownsbacker: You can't stand The Office, but you think The 40-Year-Old Virgin is a great movie?

    It just goes to show it's a matter of taste. I don't know any woman who could watch more than five minutes of The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

      #3.15 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:48 AM EDT

      I watched the entire movie. I know what I am, what are you?

        #3.16 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:08 PM EDT

        They might actually believe offices like this exist.

        The reason that many folks find The Office so funny is because we *HAVE* worked in offices that were at least sometimes like Dunder Mifflin. Same with the movie Office Space.

        • 3 votes
        #3.17 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:18 PM EDT

        I tried watching Office when it first came out, but was never able to get over the incredible amateurish video. It looks like it was filmed by some 14 year-old that just got his first camcorder.

          #3.18 - Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:35 AM EDT

          hs321

          I tried watching Office when it first came out, but was never able to get over the incredible amateurish video. It looks like it was filmed by some 14 year-old that just got his first camcorder.

          That is the whole CONCEPT...

          It's supposed to be a documentary team inside an "actual" office... filming them, and catching them in situations that they would rather not have seen by the public... It's supposed to be like a (fake) "reality TV" show... In some episodes thay even work the documentary camera operators into the plot...

          • 1 vote
          #3.19 - Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:10 PM EDT

          The reason that many folks find The Office so funny is because we *HAVE* worked in offices that were at least sometimes like Dunder Mifflin. Same with the movie Office Space.

          I HAVE!!! A former co-worker and I used to laugh all the time about how our boss reminded us of Michael Scott! I'm not kidding ... too funny! Way off the wall and kooky. And WHO CARES who thinks it's funny ... it's a matter of opinion, NOT fact! If you have to argue your point on why it's NOT funny, you're far too serious of a person! And btw, I'm a mother of 3 (almost 4) in my mid thirties ...not the 16 - 24 year old crowd that someone had mentioned!!!

          • 1 vote
          #3.20 - Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:14 PM EDT

          So many of you are so defensive towards those of us who do not care for the show. It is a bit scary how excited you are getting! Get a life!

          • 1 vote
          #3.21 - Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:31 PM EDT
          Reply

          I've always had this problem and it's getting worse as the birthdays pass by. I've really come to hate being in crowded places because the feeling is sometimes overwhelming. It seems an awful lot of people have no tact or manners any more and they don't care how they look or behave. I find reality shows fascinating and repulsive at the same time -- I get drawn into them and then I feel bad for the people in them.

            Reply#4 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:55 AM EDT

            No matter how many times I tell myself that this is a program and is supposed to be funny, I just can't watch The Office. It does make me cringe. I'm even uncomfortable for the actors for participating in something so bad. It's pretty sad that a show centering on people humiliating themselves is considered entertainment. Perhaps this is why so many people have difficulty behaving civilly today.

              Reply#5 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:26 AM EDT

              William Hung cracked me up, I like watching The Office becouse they are oblivious to how stupid they are, but according to this artical, I cant stand American Idol or Glee, becouse they both show stupid people knowingly embarrass themselves. I must be a really nice person! YAY ME!! LOL

                Reply#6 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:05 PM EDT

                I'm also delighted to report German is not the only language with a word for that experience. In Spanish, it's called "pena ajena". It's used mostly as "sentir pena ajena" which translate approx. into "feel the other's shame". Only reserved for occasions in which others behave shamefully.

                • 4 votes
                Reply#7 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:10 PM EDT

                The Office is the realest show out there besides Howard Stern of course. So for all you people think Michael Scott isn't funny, go watch American Idol or Glee. This is why we are falling apart as Americans because people think Ryan Seacrest is cool, god help us all.

                • 2 votes
                Reply#8 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:22 PM EDT

                I (stating opinion) dont think steve carrell is funny. Ricky Gervais (who steve carrell's character in the office was based on) i found funnier. I also dont enjoy watching american idol, or glee. Most of the time people could tell what shows i watched, because they're usually brilliant and cancelled. I hold the nielsen rating system pretty responsible for it btw.

                • 6 votes
                #8.1 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:33 PM EDT

                Messie, I am with you. I love "The Office". It is the most dysfunctional group of people that you could get into the space but haven't we all had at least one "Angela" or "Kevin" in an office at one time?

                It is a comedy. I laugh.

                  #8.2 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:10 PM EDT
                  Reply

                  It would be interesting to see how the brains of killers, rapists, and pedophiles react to the same stimuli. I'm willing to bet there is a measurable difference. Might be a valuable tool in identifying such criminals as being incapable of coexisting in the general populace without being a constant risk. This seems to me to be a very vital function of the human brain, and if yours don't work, what does that make you? I know I've met people who do not have this ability!

                  • 4 votes
                  Reply#9 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:27 PM EDT

                  Didn't they make a movie about that? And all the people who didn't fit the mold were "removed" from society?

                    #9.1 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:45 PM EDT

                    Perhaps you're thinking of Gattica. I'm thinking of the Manson family, Hitler, etc.

                    Blessed are the shallow.

                    I do find this extremely fascinating...I can barely stand to watch this show, and I could never quite put my finger on just why. Sure there are genuinely funny moments, but for the most part I find myself becoming overly anxious, or at least that's how I would have described it before reading this. This article describes it perfectly.

                    • 2 votes
                    #9.2 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:15 PM EDT

                    It is fascinating to me that people can't separate the "sitcom" from real life. It is TELEVISION which is not a medium to get a lot of behavioral "light bulb moments" from. At least I hope people aren't watching for the light bulb reason.

                      #9.3 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:13 PM EDT
                      Reply

                      Anyone else notice that humor is about pain? Things we laugh about are someone else's embarassment, hurt, failure, stupidity, etc. Maybe laughing is an expression of relief that those things aren't happening to us?

                        Reply#10 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:30 PM EDT

                        I find some ridiculous action humorous only if no one is seriously injured. I think perhaps we laugh at silly choices we humans make, hence the ridiculous consequences. I can't say as though we only laugh at the expense of another, because I know I've laughed at my own asinine actions that have brought about some stupid consequence ( for example- letting my friend use me in a stunt bike jump when I was 11. The ramp broke, he went over the handlebars, landed on me and the remaining ramp came down on us both). I've known many people who've laughed at themselves for doing something silly that brought about a humorous consequence, so I don't think we're laughing only out of relief. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism? If we became upset over every embarrassing, failed or stupid endeavor we ever undertook, we might never be happy! Maybe laughing just helps us put misfortune into perspective?

                        • 1 vote
                        #10.1 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:13 PM EDT

                        Your ramp story made me laugh, which I think backs my point. You did an ill-advised thing, and ended up wearing a ramp. Now, that's funny.....

                        In the case of laughing at yourself, perhaps you are relieved the incident is over, and you don't have to go through that again. Because I am almost sure while it was happening you werent laughing, you were scared. Maybe there is a relationship between fear and humor?

                        The idea of a coping mechanism makes sense: one of the ways we get over pain is making jokes about it.

                          #10.2 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:26 PM EDT

                          Humor isn't always about pain.

                          If your uncle farts at a funeral and everyone, including your uncle, laughs, how is that painful?

                            #10.3 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:14 PM EDT

                            Humor always results from some kind of pain.

                            Whether its the embarrassment of someone else, someone being misled, Charlie Chaplin stabbing people with a pencil, etc. all humor is at someone else's expense.

                              #10.4 - Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:38 PM EDT
                              Reply

                              I can't stand when reality shows openly make fun of people - like Hung. I couldn't stand it because (a) his voice and style were annoying; and (b) because I thought it was so sad that they were exploiting him for fun. I think that someone who sincerely tries at something but fails terribly shouldn't be made fun of. But someone who insists that are great and aren't, deserve to be poked at. I don't know if that makes sense, but it has something to do with attitude and sincerity, I think. As to the office - love that show and can't get enough. There were scenes that I felt so much embarrassment for Michael I could barely stand it . . but it's only a show so I don't think there's anything wrong about laughing at him and how utterly ridiculous his behavior is.

                              In real life, I feel embarrassment for people who do something stupid in front of a large audience. Then again, if they get up and laugh, I will too.

                              • 2 votes
                              Reply#11 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:03 PM EDT

                              I quit watching "Idol" the season Hung was on. I did believe that he was enjoying himself but I knew that the show producers and staff put him on to gain ratings and, in doing so, exposed Hung to ridicule.

                                #11.1 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:16 PM EDT
                                Reply

                                Archeim.....I'm afraid you're a bit full of yourself.  First you felt the need to share your Myers Briggs results with the world...now you have to comment on the opinion of multiple posters in the process of sharing your self defined great taste in televsion.  Seriously...move along. 

                                • 2 votes
                                Reply#12 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:10 PM EDT

                                Familiarity breeds contempt.

                                  Reply#13 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:42 PM EDT

                                  Steve Carell is great. I hope he continues to make us uncomfortable. On the other hand, he may not want to be type cast. On the other, other hand, it probably pays well.

                                  (Don't want to commit too much to being a fan - after all I was a fan of Charlie Sheen until the "warlock" started "winning".)

                                  • 2 votes
                                  Reply#14 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:42 PM EDT

                                   Andy Kaufman left me uncomfortable--in any of his personas.

                                   

                                  • 1 vote
                                  Reply#15 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:02 PM EDT

                                  That is by far the most perfect example of what this author is trying to convey. That guy took making you uncomfortable to a whole new level.

                                  STILL not sure if he is dead or just 110% committed to making us uncomfortable with his myth of his death.

                                    #15.1 - Tue Apr 19, 2011 11:50 AM EDT
                                    Reply

                                    You don't have to cite which line, everyone who is a fan knows.  I love this show and I think it is one of the funniest shows on TV.  That being said, there are shows I that don't watch or enjoy.  I certainly don't read articles about those shows and put in my two cents to the people that do enjoy it and tell them that their preference in TV is "terrible" or "literally unwatchable".  That is an opinion, and opinions are like a holes, everyone has one and they all stink!   The internet and chat boards have created a society of people that feel like they have to comment on everything whether it concerns them or not.  And they also think that everyone really cares what they have to say.  

                                    • 3 votes
                                    Reply#16 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:12 PM EDT

                                    Having watched Newsvine and HuffPost slide down the slippery slope of the ignorant, I tend to agree with you. But I think these people most likely either live alone, or in their mother's basement, and trolling and making crude/rude/ignorant remarks is entertainment for them.

                                    I don't want to leave out the perfectly "normal" person who is a d ck and always wants to provoke. I just believe that there are some really sad individuals who don't have social skills and are ruining comment boards for the majority of the readers/commenters.

                                      #16.1 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:21 PM EDT
                                      Reply

                                      Wouldn't know. Never watched any of that crap.

                                        Reply#17 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:21 PM EDT

                                        If you never watched it, how do you know its crap?

                                        Most likely you just want to appear above the common folk in your choice of entertainment to feed your own narcissism.

                                        If you did not want people to think what I posted, you would not have posted it.

                                          #17.1 - Tue Apr 19, 2011 11:53 AM EDT
                                          Reply

                                          I have a very, very early memory of this happening to me when I was a really little kid, while I was watching "Sesame Street." All I can remember is that there was some kind of misunderstanding involving Big Bird, and I couldn't stand it -- I had to leave the room! Apparently, "fremdscham" happens in children, too. :)

                                            Reply#18 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:31 PM EDT

                                            "Free Love on the Free Love Freeway!"

                                            • 1 vote
                                            Reply#19 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:35 PM EDT

                                            There's a term for this?? Good, cause I thought it was just me! That's a little ease on my mind :)

                                            • 1 vote
                                            Reply#20 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 3:25 PM EDT

                                            What we're talking about is an aversion to some characters' reaction to a dramatic ironic twist. We know the character is going to react badly, so we leave the room because we become uncomfortable just seeing the reaction. I like to call it 'Embarrasment Comedy'. Some shows do it better than others. One just has to wait for the sweet feeling when the character acts appropriately. It's almost cathartic.

                                              Reply#21 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:43 PM EDT

                                              I have watched just over a dozen episodes in it's seven year history. I keep giving it a chance - considering its ratings. Unfortunately I keep finding the "humor" flat and unapealing. With Will being added to the cast - I don't think my opinion will change...I just don't find it funny.

                                                Reply#22 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:02 PM EDT

                                                To SOMEBEFUDDLEDPERSON, I totally agree with you ( The show is only "hysterical" if you take a great deal of pleasure in watching gross dysfuntionalism. Honestly, you have to love to watch idiots in action. I find the show pathetic, and I am considered to have a pretty good sense of humor.) and would have given you a vote but there was no where to vote on your comment.

                                                  Reply#23 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:11 PM EDT

                                                  gypsy.. I HEARTILY disagree with you. I don't think you have to be so critical because, in the long run, what difference does it make to you if we enjoy it?

                                                  • 1 vote
                                                  #23.1 - Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:24 PM EDT
                                                  Reply

                                                  Any Ben Stiller movie, except maybe zoolander, makes me feel this way to the point I don't enjoy the movie. The Fockers movies were especially bad about it

                                                    Reply#24 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:44 PM EDT

                                                    Ann Curry interviews when she sits in for someone on Today. I cringe every time I watch one. She is so touchy feely and whisper-talky and seems quite uncomfortable with the interviewing process that it just makes me squirm----and then I change the channel.

                                                    • 2 votes
                                                    Reply#25 - Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:14 PM EDT
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